billm
SOSEN Staff
Member
URGENT OST FOR SOSEN STAFF
« on: June 02, 2008, 08:10:33 PM »Cheryl asked me to post this. I’ve talked to her several times today. Lets get this over and bring her back as COO and put this behind us. I look at Cheryl and Linda as family and it tears me up to see them fighting because of a runaway member who only cares about himself.
———————————————————————–OK this may well be my final message in sosen.
I have said over and over I cant take anymore of this and I have been asked to hang on hang on .
I siaid today that Today is my last day of hanging on.
I have been humiliated and chastened like a child. I WAS THE COO deserving of some respect.
I have reached out to Linda on 3 different days…I called her she would not answer. She was there cuz she was posting at SOSEN. One day she did talk to me…actually she screamed at me and then hung up.
I called her this evening. She would not answer. I left her a message saying
Linda, I am humbeling myself yet again. I wish you would answer the phone. I want this to end.
I apologize and I know I said some things I shouldn’t have. We need to work this out because this is the last day it will be possible.
SHE DID NOT CALL ME BACK
I have spent time in a bod meeting trying to compromise but there was NOTHING in return. NO OTHER SOLUTIONS WERE OFFERED AND MINE WERE ALL REFUSED >
Static tried to intervene…Linda refuses.Top tried to intervene I can only assume Linda refused because I agreed to a conference and it never happened.
Linda keeps giving WORDs that she is trying to work this out but they are only words.
TELL ME ONE THING THAT SHE HAS DONE ; ONE COMPROMISE NONE JUST EMPTY WORDS>
Calling for a truce where one party surrenders is not a truce.
She has attacked me all day. Lets has gotten more and more unruly as he sees that Linda will not make any consequences to his behavior.
I AM NOT ALLOWED TO POST NOR CAN I EVEN RECEIVE PM’s
SOMETHING IS SO GLARINGLY WRONG HERE>
I SHOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY FROM THIS DAYS AGO
PEOPLE ASKED ME TO HANG ON
MY membership gets deleted tonight. I am not going to suffer this abuse one more day. Make your decision but it must be done today.
MomOf2
SOSEN Staff
Member
*
PEACE! There is enough trouble to go around. My fiance is now trying to tell me to get out of this! There is too much dissention in the BOD and it is not good for anyone! I want Cheryl to come back and I want her to know that we will not tolerate anyone treating anyone else badly in the forum FROM HERE ON OUT! If Lets doesn’t stop what he has been doing, he IS GONE or I am. If he stops, fine he can stay.
This has gone on long enough, in fact too long.
Cheryl, come back.Lois
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I have talked with coolrich and he asked me to call Cheryl. She said she wants to come back and that we can just go on from here.
WELL….I CALLED I TRIED!!!!!!! I was under the empression that if we said I am sorry we could go on from there from Coolrich. AS SOON as I get talking about this to Cheryl I get another ultimatum!!!!!! Ethere I delet Lets and make him read only or she ia going to DELETE SOSEN US at 9 pm TONIGHT!!!!!!
I SWEAR I TRIED!!!!
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Coolrich just called her for me She told him she will only delete her membership at 9 pm… I am sorry guys I REALLY tried I don’t do ultimatums well. No one does. I wanted things to work out. We all discussed this last night, how to handle Lets (make sure he knows he has on foot out the door) If I were to delete Lets or make him read only after already talking to him. It would have opened up a HUGE can of worms on the forum.
static
Uh-uh. If it’s fair to make Cheryl a “read only” member, then it’s damn well fair to do the same to Lets. Linda, he’s been warned for months, and even this minute is “doing what he does”. There’s every indication I’ll be his next target. We all (including you) said that if we had to choose between Cheryl and Lets, we’d choose Cheryl. But looking at what has happened makes it appear that we are choosing Lets instead. I’ve had enough and so has everyone else. It is the height of folly to sacrifice Cheryl for Lets. I don’t care if she’s right or wrong- we can debate that forever. But WE ALL know that Lets is wrong. So far, only Cheryl has had to pay the price for this fiasco- this is unfair in the extreme. Get rid of Lets, bring Cheryl back, let’s get this forum whipped into shape. THEN we can all bitch about Cheryl. As long as we allow this kind of behavior to continue by Lets, there is no way to work this out. If you want to think Cheryl’s crazy- fine. You’re entitled to your opinion. But if she’s a nut, then Lets is a friggin Almond tree. And to be honest, I’m beginning to lose my sanity as well.
Do we really need to have a formal vote on this idiocy? Ok, fine- all in favor of showing Lets the door, speak up. Everyone who thinks the way this is currently being handled is the right way, speak up. And does anyone really believe we should kick Cheryl to the curb?
No more ultimatims. No more conditions. Get rid of Lets and bring Cheryl back. Then we can “work things out” like adults. It’s not fair to call Cheryl on her perceived “misbehavior” while hamstringing her ability to respond. And it damn sure isn’t fair to keep coddling Lets while ousting Cheryl. I’ve stated repeatedly that I am not on the side of either Linda or Cheryl because I feel that neither one of them has acted appropriately. But regarding what is currently being done to Cheryl- I’ve had it. She’s no Shirley. The worst she would’ve done is keep arguing. At this point, she has every reason to be pissed. Admin privileges should not be used to win a fight or prove a point. You’re all very lucky I don’t have admin rights, or I would’ve deleted every bit of this nonsense. Enough is enough- Cheryl should be fully reinstated, Lets should be kicked out, and apologies and forgiveness should be the order of the day. This has gone from the silly to the downright ridiculous- and it’s gone WAY TOO FAR. I’ve had it!
The only way to resolve this is for Staff to handle it as a group. If the CEO and COO can’t agree, then they need to step back and let the rest of Staff do their damn jobs. And if we’re going to put Cheryl on read only status, we ought to be fair enough to do it to Lets, and maybe Linda as well. Because it’s a useless and silly thing to do in the first place. If someone is so disruptive that they can’t be trusted to post, they don’t need to be here in the first place. The truth is that Cheryl is on read only status to “teach her a lesson” and “cool her off a bit”. Unfair actions don’t lend themselves to “cooling off”. Whatever you may think of Cheryl, she surely has a good reason to bitch now. So what has this unfair treatment gotten us? The truly fair thing would be to simply eliminate the problem at its source. Cheryl is not the root of this problem. Lets is. Considering that, the solution becomes rather clear, doesn’t it? And wouldn’t it be easier to get Cheryl to listen to any criticisms we may have if she was being treated fairly to begin with?
I’ll say this- every sign indicates that I’ll be Lets’ next “victim”. I assure you- I won’t be nearly as tactful as Cheryl was. If that makes me “nutty” or out of control, so be it. It would be a VERY good idea to handle the Lets problem now, before I end up giving him a thumping.
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Static
Take your beef with Lets to PM! Now you are starting shit on the forum cause your mad.
MomOf2
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I hate to choose between Cheryl and Lets, but if one has to go, Lets has deserved it far more than Cheryl. If anyone else was being attacked like she was, the attacker would have been long gone. Kick him out.
My vote.Lois
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
It was decided in the BOD meeting to speak to Lets (which Top AND I did) READ THE POLICIES!!!!
klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I’ll tell you that this has gotten me to the point of bailing out of here!!! I am already struggling with my boyfriend’s sentencing which should be the end of the month. I want to do something positive here. I have enough stress to contend with in my own life. Young daughters who think they know it all…LOL; you get the picture. This is a place I have needed for support, and a place I enjoyed being an advocate for. I cannot tolerate all of this negative energy. This group has come so far; please lets just get back to business!!! BangHead
billm
SOSEN Staff
Member*
This is a pm that let’s intended for fallenone, but sent to another member.
Hey Derek,
How’s it going? Did you notice that Equal Justice’s karma went from 25 to 49 overnight? Someone e-mailed me telling me it was at 50 this morning. Now, if it took her 8 months to get to 25, how did it double over night? LOL!!! I smell Limburger cheese. LOL!
I think she doesn’t want to be behind you or me.
static
Linda- I’m sorry for the inevitable fight my words will start. I respect you and desparately want things back to normal around here. I didn’t let my anger go to my head. In fact, I handled that Karma thread perfectly appropriately. And I reported on my actions in Staff. Something you may have missed in all this is that you and Wop unilaterally put Cheryl -a Board member- on read only status. I don’t remeber getting a vote on that issue. I also don’t remember getting a vote on the Lets issue. Sorry, but you are the one blinded by anger. Cheryl has been rather blind too. I, however, am not. What’s next?- Are you going to say that I’ve run people out of Sosen? Am I so out of control that I should be placed on read only status? Do I too have a history of instability? Is your opinion the only one of any value to Sosen? Because that’s the message you are sending.
You would be wise to stop accusing and look at your own behavior of late. I’ve said the same thing to Cheryl. If that makes me “out of control”, then it looks like everyone else is the same. The only way to put a stop to this madness is to give Cheryl her position back. Then if you and her can manage to keep your fight between yourselves, we can get down to Sosen business (which is exactly what this thread was supposed to be about- Sosen business).
You called me and asked me to intervene in the fight between you and Cheryl. I said that I couldn’t make any promises, but I’d do what I can. I posted in that one thread and you got mad because you felt I was encouraging Cheryl. I then posted a separate thread called “my turn”, and tried to show you both that there is plenty of blame to go around. Your response to that was to tell me to “watch it, Boy”. With all due respect, I HAVE watched it and am disgusted and disappointed. I then posted this thread to try to get us back on the real issue here, which is Lets and the SOClear people. For that I’m accused of escalating. When I joined Staff, you told me it’s all volunteer and I only have to be involved as much as I want to be. Then because I have the audacity to question your and Cheryl’s judgment, you act like I’m just so absent that I’m really not very valuable to Sosen and my opinion carries less weight than yours. The truth is that you are the one not seeing things clearly right now. I’m no Lets- if you oust me, more than a few will follow. Linda, whether you want to see it or not, you are out of line. I’ve done what’s been asked of me by joining Staff, joining BOD, moderating the forum, intervening in your and Cheryl’s stupid fight, and on and on. Well, now I am a BOD member, so I get an equal vote -just like you. I’ve said I’ve had enough of this crap, and unlike you- I can see an easy solution.
It appears that we have a vacancy on the Board. We are in need of a COO. As a Board-member (at least until I get deleted), I nominate Cheryl for the position. It’s time for Staff to put an end to this stupidity- Let the chips fall where they may.
static
Ah- sorry. The thread I started was about Tmax and Lets- not this thread. I got discombobulated responding to all the different threads.
static
From that other thread, it would appear that we are also in need of a CEO now. As a Board member, I nominate Linda.
So we have two motions on the floor- a nomination of Cheryl for the COO position and a nomination for Linda for the CEO position. Someone on BOD will have to second these motions for them to be carried forward.
I also move for a vote of confidence for both Linda and Cheryl. We need to let them know we trust them to fix these problems like adults.
I know this seems silly, but it’s really not. Everyone here wants both Linda and Cheryl to stay and we all acknowledge that they are needed. Perhaps if we show them how much we want a swift resolution to this fight, they’ll listen. When the two “top dogs” are no longer able to lead, it’s up to the rest of us to make the situation right again. I feel the best way for us to do this is to request that this whole issue be forgiven and forgotten as an abberation in what has been a very good and productive working relationship up ’til now. Cheryl quit and Linda says she quits too. So the only thing we can do now is to expect them to come back and put this behind them for the sake of Sosen.
So that is the forth and final motion- Sosen, inc. requests that both Linda and Cheryl be fully re-instated to their original positions under the condition that they both refrain from further fighting about the member “Letsgetreal”. In order to be re-instated, they must agree to let the rest of Staff decide what to do about Letsgetreal after a formal vote on the subject.
Seriously- someone needs to second these four motions.
klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Ok…I second these motions!! Now what?? idea1
static
Now, someone needs to nominate a new Secretary because there is a vacancy there too.
I’m done. Please delete my account, remove any mention of me in official Sosen papers (if I’m listed as a Board member or Staff member), and either allow me to post in National that I’m no longer affiliated with Sosen- or someone else do so. I’m finished with Sosen -and advocacy in general… I’m no Lets- this isn’t an idle expression of anger. I want nothing to do with this organization, or Sex Offender Advocacy. I won’t be joining any other groups (and I’d like it if someone would make that clear to those on the forum who will inevitably try to recruit me), and if I ever get stupid enough to start my own advocacy org, I’ll be sure to come to this forum to promote the shit out of it while downing Sosen- it’s clear that such behavior is more than welcome. I’ll be deleting all my email addy’s, changing my phone number, and making sure that no one has an opportunity to connect me with this garbage ever again. It’s been quite a ride, but I need to get off before I vomit. Goodbye.
billm
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Good Luck static take care
klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Static,
I get your point, but I don’t understand why you are quitting. We need you here too. Did I say something wrong by the 2nd motion? I am having trouble understanding why all of this is happening. Please fill me in??? sad5 sad1
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I hate to say this but we might have dodged a HUGE bullet having Static LEAVE staff. He was so rude and so wayy of base in his posts to me that I wanted to see what he looked like. Now static is the only second SO I have looked up on the registry. I always feel like I am violating someones privacy when I look on the registry. Static told me about ONE offence. well he has 3
1999
2001 and
2005
He is listed as habitual.
klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I try to stay neutral. Did he actually quit and delete his account?
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
yep
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I hope I did not offend anybody with tha comment about dodging a bullett My point is he lied to me
coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Okay, this mess has caused a gutting of the BOD and, something tells me, Staff may follow.
What to do? What to do? How do things like this continue to happen?
I have been toying with some ideas for awhile. Some I have voiced some not. Here they are.The BOD must be an odd number to insure that deadlocks rarely occur.
The only time a BOD member can abstain, is when the vote is directly about them.
A majority vote of the BOD must be obtained before any action can be taken against a BOD or Staff member.
No BOD member can be on any Registry (A sticky point. I will explain, if needed. One of the reasons I resigned).
The BOD members present can be no less than 3 members to carry a vote and that vote must be unanimous.
All BOD and Staff members must be active on the Forum to maintain their positions. They at least have to be on enough to read posts. Absences must be explained to the BOD’s satisfaction.
The BOD has the right to remove Staff members, with cause after the Staff member has been given one chance to correct or explain the reason(s) sated for removal. They will have 72 hours to respond to a questioning post from the BOD.I am sure there are a few I forgot, but these are the most present on my mind.
lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I like these Rich Once again coolrich steps up to the plate!
coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member*
All of my points must be voted on by the BOD. Are there 3 members left? After that, they must be incorporated into the SOSEN policies.
bronkv
SOSEN Staff
Member*
Good idea’s Coolrich. thumbsup
MomOf2
SOSEN Staff
Member*
I’m still here. The points seem well taken and I am willing to vote yes. We may have some problem with activity from time to time–I have to be careful about how much I let my significant other know about, because he gets very touchy about how the whole thing could blow up in our faces if we are not careful. When this happens, I have to stay away from the computer for a while. Annoying, but necessary. I do my best to keep up with the important stuff, but can only do so much in 2 to 3 hours in the evening.
Lois
topwop
SOSEN Staff
Member*
We have much to discuss at tonight’s meeting. It is difficult to do this on the boards.
The one area that we need to focus our attention on is board/staff member conduct.
If we all know HOW to conduct ourselves and WHAT is expected of us problems like this WILL NOT happen in the future. There are things that you simply do and do not do.
The key is not ALLOWING yourself to be drawn into situations. Follow your gut feeling.
Another is flat out RESPECT (that has been earned) for fellow staff/board members, and being able to confidently say “I know that “topwop” would not say/do that.”Rich is correct on his posts. We can briefly go over them point by point tonight.
Another thing that I have been pushing for and after this last week I must insist on, is a monthly meeting of the board with treasurers report of all incoming and outgoing monies, reading, and approving the minutes of the prior meeting. I know your thinking another long and boring meeting, but that is simply not the case. With only five to seven members present and following the set agenda this should only last about 30 minutes total and should be attended by all members unless excused PRIOR to the meeting.
THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL, I HAVE DONE THIS FOR 18 YEARS ON THREE BOARDS!!!!
My suggestion is once a month, shortly before a staff meeting, unless smmething comes up that we need to deal with immediately.We now have five members of the board, I personally am comfortable with that. This needs approval of the board.
Staff members we do not need a set amount of, we need to stress quality not quantity, AND TRUST ME WE HAVE QUALITY.We are on the verge of big things, we cannot afford to lose our momentum or take a step back. We had two victories last week and they were overshadowed and lost by needless selfish controversy. We need to look forward with an eye on the past.
topwop
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