Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Nambla - Who we are

WHO WE ARE


WELCOME! The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) was formed in 1978. It was inspired by the success of a campaign based in Boston's gay community to defend against a local witchhunt.

NAMBLA's goal is to end the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships by:
  • building understanding and support for such relationships;
  • educating the general public on the benevolent nature of man/boy love;
  • cooperating with lesbian, gay, feminist, and other liberation movements;
  • supporting the liberation of persons of all ages from sexual prejudice and oppression.
Our membership is open to everyone sympathetic to man/boy love and personal freedom.

NAMBLA calls for the empowerment of youth in all areas, not just the sexual. We support greater economic, political and social opportunities for young people and denounce the rampant ageism that segregates and isolates them in fear and mistrust. We believe sexual feelings are a positive life force. We support the rights of youth as well as adults to choose the partners with whom they wish to share and enjoy their bodies.

We condemn sexual abuse and all forms of coercion. Freely-chosen relationships differ from unwanted sex. Present laws, which focus only on the age of the participants, ignore the quality of their relationships. We know that differences in age do not preclude mutual, loving interaction between persons. NAMBLA is strongly opposed to age-of-consent laws and all other restrictions which deny men and boys the full enjoyment of their bodies and control over their own lives.

NAMBLA does not provide encouragement, referrals or assistance for people seeking sexual contacts. NAMBLA does not engage in any activities that violate the law, nor do we advocate that anyone else should do so.

We call for fundamental reform of the laws regarding relations between youths and adults. Today, many thousands of men and boys are unjustly ground into the disfunctional criminal justice system. Blindly, this system condemns consensual, loving relationships between younger and older people. NAMBLA's Prisoner Program, with limited resources, works to provide a modicum of humanity to some of these people. Click here to find out more.

NAMBLA is a political, civil rights, and educational organization. We provide factual information and help educate society about the positive and beneficial nature of man/boy love. Become an active member! You can help in this historic struggle!

RSOL - The How

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

RSOL - The Why

"Pedophiles like Pentlarge are the “elite” of child molesters: men who are smart and likeable, with the kind of traits and habits human resource types call “good interpersonal skills.” And most perpetrators, Lanning said, need every ounce of sophistication and savvy to keep their house of cards from collapsing. "

How a prominent Ware attorney preyed on troubled boys - and why some people in town continue to stand by him.

Joel Pentlarge was a pillar of the community. A lawyer by trade, he built himself a reputation as a civic missionary, donating hour upon hour to Ware’s governmental boards, first as a selectman, then on the conservation commission, where he fought to protect the old mill town’s fragile wetlands and foothills.

Social activism came second nature to Pentlarge, a sign of his pedigree in an affluent New England family. His mother, the late Frances “Effie” Eaton Pentlarge, taught by example: An esteemed member of Maine’s politically progressive circles, Effie Pentlarge crusaded for social justice. In the early- to mid-1990s she helped revive a decades-old political movement to extend civil rights to gay and lesbian Mainers and co-founded Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays in Maine to build bridges between gay and straight people.

Effie Pentlarge’s oldest son also professed a deep concern for social justice. Joel Pentlarge directed his altruism toward down-and-out children and families. The primary beneficiary of the lawyer’s largess was Valley Human Services, a not-for-profit social services agency in Ware that provides a range of support services, including sexual abuse counseling, to low-income clients. Pentlarge not only offered pro bono legal work to the $1.8 million-a-year state-funded agency, he also served on its board for 18 years. He was one of VHS’s most loyal champions and benefactors.

On the side, he took a special interest in young street toughs, boys who had trouble with the law or at school and, quite often, with their families. He employed them as handymen at his various rental properties in town. But more than that, he took them under his wing.

Sure, there were whispers: What did Pentlarge really want with these troubled boys? He was an out gay man, out and proud. When accusations of child molestation surfaced in the mid-1980s, Pentlarge and his friends deflected them by crying prejudice and homophobia. Well-meaning people were intimidated by the insinuation that questioning Pentlarge’s motives was an act of bigotry, that it fed into a detestable stereotype that suggests gays are pedophiles at heart.

But the whispers persisted. By the early 1990s, the volume grew loud enough to reach the ears of the state police. And then, investigators say, the boys themselves balked. They agreed to tell their stories, but hesitated to testify — out of fear and shame and, perhaps, admiration. Or even love.

“He raised children to a level of understanding and respect that all kids want,” said Assistant District Attorney Alex Nappan, who prosecuted Pentlarge last summer on five counts of child rape, sex crimes that began in 1985 and ended in 1998 just before a grand jury returned the first of five indictments against Pentlarge.

“All kids want to be heard and understood,” Nappan said. “Joel respected kids to the point where he gave them the opportunity to make decisions that society doesn’t let them.”

By all outward indications, Pentlarge was unfazed by the state police investigation and others undertaken by the state Department of Social Services and the Massachusetts Board of Bar Overseers. Despite the heightened scrutiny, the prospect of public disclosure, the danger to his career, Pentlarge continued to pursue boys who needed guidance and money, and to groom them for sex.

For 15 years Pentlarge masked his pedophilia with his professional stature, his social position and civic good deeds, while other pillars of the community stood silently by, largely deaf and blind to his crimes. Pentlarge preyed on some of Ware’s most vulnerable and troubled boys, using money and alcohol — peppered with affection and attention — to extract sex.

That much Pentlarge admitted when he accepted the July 31, 2000, plea agreement that placed him behind bars at MCI Cedar Junction for a mere three to four years, a remarkably light sentence that Judge C. Brian McDonald accepted with great hesitation, insisting the plea agreement was far too lenient for the crimes Pentlarge committed.

Yet for many of Ware’s “substantial citizens” — a term McDonald used at sentencing to refer to Pentlarge’s apologists — any time at all was too harsh a punishment. Nearly a dozen friends, businesspeople, former town officials and, in one instance, a lawyer for DSS, offered their support in writing to the court. Many continue to support him today.

Few crimes elicit a more visceral reaction than child sexual abuse. Yet when we wring our hands and ask, “How does something like this happen?” the best answer may be “How doesn’t it happen more often?” The Pentlarge case demonstrates how easy it is for society to remain blind to child sexual assault, especially when the victims are adolescent boys. It also shows that when the perpetrator is an otherwise upstanding member of the community and his victims are tainted by troubled pasts, it is painfully easy for justice to be denied.

Joel Pentlarge lit on Massachusetts State Police radar screens five years before investigators and the Northwestern District Attorney’s Office were able to collect all the necessary elements of a successful prosecution.

Court records show that as early as 1993 state police had spoken with boys they suspected had been molested by Pentlarge. Investigators say the boys were unwilling to testify, and without cooperative victims who were willing to testify before a grand jury, the state’s case was fatally weak. The rapes continued.

In 1998 investigators got two big breaks. First, State Police Investigator Sgt. Sue Cronin, who declined to be interviewed for this story, uncovered a potentially damaging pair of letters between Pentlarge and long-time friend Tara Lindquist. In the first letter, which Lindquist sent to Pentlarge in May 1984, she inquires about his seeming fascination with adolescent boys. In his June 1984 response, Pentlarge gives a seven-page explanation of why his sexual attraction to minor boys is normal and natural and even morally defensible.

“It reads like a pamphlet for NAMBLA,” Nappan said, referring to the North American Man/Boy Love Association, a controversial organization that promotes the view that sex between adult men and boys is natural and should be decriminalized.

In the letter, which Judge McDonald sealed from public view but quoted from in his sentencing, Pentlarge defends pedophilia and tries to distance himself from the “stereotypical pedophile who uses candy, drugs, force or trickery to garner the sexual involvement of an unsuspecting child unbeknownst to his parents.”

Lindquist had sent copies of the correspondence between her and Pentlarge to DSS. After the agency decided not to pursue a full-fledged investigation, it destroyed the letters, as is standard DSS policy, Nappan said. Sgt. Cronin, who had spent years investigating Pentlarge, knew of Lindquist’s letters to DSS. When Cronin found out Pentlarge’s DSS file had expired, she went to the source. Pentlarge’s friend had kept copies of both letters and turned them over to Nappan.

But the letters alone were of only limited use as evidence in a criminal case in Massachusetts. In his letter to Lindquist Pentlarge did not admit to any specific illegal activity involving any of the boys who eventually testified before the grand jury. Instead, Pentlarge offered a stunningly cogent defense of his sexual interest in minor boys.

Investigators’ next important break came when three boys agreed to add their voices to two others who had already resolved to tell their stories to a grand jury. Together, their stories told a far more comprehensive and compelling story of abuse and detailed a pattern of victimization that had continued virtually unabated from 1985 to 1998. By late 1999 grand juries had handed up five indictments containing the accounts of four different victims who testified that Pentlarge had raped them.

By the time prosecutors officially accused Pentlarge of raping four boys, he all but embodied the stereotypical pedophile he had described in his 1984 letter to Lindquist. Instead of the “candy, drugs, force or trickery” Pentlarge listed as the pathetic lures of the run-of-the-mill pedophile, however, he used attention, affection and hard cash to get what he wanted.

In one account included in court records, two boys explain how, several weeks into a regular gig doing odd jobs for Pentlarge, he called them into an apartment he maintained above his Prospect Street law offices. Then he broke out the rum and Coke.

“Ours were strong. His looked kind of weak,” the boy testified. “We had a good buzz going.”

Pentlarge then asked the boys if they “wanted to earn extra money.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool,” the boy said. “What do we have to do?”

According to the boy’s grand jury testimony, Pentlarge replied, “Would you like to go into the bedroom?”

“When we went into the bedroom things kind of changed,” the boy testified. “We thought at first we would watch him masturbate, but then it was for him to perform oral sex on us.”

One boy who worked for Pentlarge in the early 1990s described during the investigation how after a short stint working for Pentlarge as a hired hand, Pentlarge began asking him to come to his house at night to do work. The boy would return home with between $10 and $100, depending upon what Pentlarge was paying that night for sex. According to court records and interviews with investigators, the boy said his family knew what was going on but sent him back night after night because he was making decent money.

Tommy admits he too did it for the money. But he still considers what Pentlarge did to him rape.

Sex paid better than anything else a teenager could scrounge up in Ware, Tommy, one of the boys who testified before a grand jury, said in an interview with the Advocate. (His name, and the names of any victims referred to in this piece, have been changed to protect their identity.) He said he doesn’t have a stomach for alcohol, so he didn’t drink the rum and Cokes Pentlarge mixed for the other boys. But when you’re 15 and poor, 25 or 50 bucks in your pocket is pretty intoxicating all by itself.

“But I was hoping someone would help us,” Tommy said. “… We had investigators come up to us. We’ve had all kinds of other people come up to us and ask us about Joel. They just didn’t seem like they were interested in what we were telling them. Joel’s got money, you know.”

But things changed for Tommy one night in 1998 when he walked into a room and found Pentlarge with a younger boy, who was dressing frantically. In this boy Tommy saw his own reflection.

“When I saw Nick with Joel that night, that was it,” said Tommy, who started having sex with Pentlarge for money when he was 15 and is now in his mid-20s.

“Nick had no shirt on, Joel was putting his shirt back on and was answering the door. I said, ‘Nick, you’re coming with me.’ I grabbed him and took him to McDonald’s. … When I saw him there with Joel, I felt like I needed to protect [him and the other boys]. Without any question. He would really mess up [the other boys'] lives, too.”

Tommy decided he would cooperate fully with state police investigators and would try to get some of the other boys to join him. Pentlarge’s house of cards began to crumble.

In preparation for trial, which was to begin in mid-July 2000, Pentlarge hired Harry Miles, a skilled and prominent Northampton defense attorney. The boys, who had been looked after by Massachusetts State Police investigators throughout the grand jury inquiry and pre-trial phases, steeled themselves for the painful ordeal of cross-examination.

As victims go, these boys were no angels. The natural sympathy a prosecutor might expect from jurors seated to hear a child rape case could easily have been undermined by the boys’ own misdeeds. Several of Pentlarge’s victims had criminal records. One is now jailed in Vermont. Another was on probation at the time of the trial for sexually assaulting a young child.

On the second day of the trial, before a jury had been empanelled, Pentlarge accepted a plea agreement promising him no more than four years in prison. The plea spared the young victims the ordeal of facing the man who had effectively made prostitutes out of them; it guaranteed the district attorney that Pentlarge would do time; and it put an end to Pentlarge’s 15-year pattern of sexual abuse of Ware’s vulnerable boys and ensured he would remain on probation for life.

The deal also let Pentlarge off easy for a crime the commonwealth considers serious enough to warrant a life sentence. By contrast, one of Pentlarge’s victims, who five years after Pentlarge first raped him turned around and sexually molested two children, faces a more severe sentence for violating probation than Pentlarge received for his entire 15-year string of sexual abuse. The man has not been convicted of any additional crimes; he violated probation by not completing the sexual abuse counseling ordered by the court. In a December hearing in Franklin District Court, he was given one more chance to live up to the terms of his probation. If he fails, he faces five to seven years in prison.

Apparently, no one was more deeply troubled by Pentlarge’s light sentence than Judge McDonald, who clearly considered the three-to-four-year term a slap on the wrist. During a mid-July hearing on sentencing, McDonald scorned both the prosecution and the defense and refused to accept the plea agreement until he felt certain that signing off was not just in Pentlarge’s interest but also in the best interests of his victims. McDonald delayed sentencing to consider the matter.

On July 31 the judge entered a packed Hampshire County superior courtroom prepared to sentence Pentlarge. He had received the Hampshire County Probation Department’s report on the plea agreement assessing its suitability to the crimes. He had heard from the victims’ witnesses, advocates charged with protecting the rights of victims who are randomly dragged down the rabbit hole of the criminal justice system. And he had read the letters he had received from Pentlarge’s supporters — men and women of stature and substance who asked McDonald for mercy, something the 50-year-old attorney himself had never requested.

McDonald sat, held up the handful of those letters and spoke: “In my not so lengthy judicial career, I have not given any case greater consideration and thought regarding a sentencing decision. …

“I am shocked at some of those letters. And they disturb me greatly and make me wonder what is wrong with a society where substantial citizens believe that volunteer work for an airport or an interest in dogs or maintaining low-income residential housing or employing young people should excuse the conduct of Mr. Pentlarge and would justify a sentence that does not involve punishment by incarceration. … In my view it’s worse than naivete. In my view, these letter writers are blind to the crimes committed by the defendant.”

The letters of support were not part of the case file in Hampshire Superior Court, but the Advocate was granted permission to view them after petitioning Judge McDonald.

James P. Thomas, a retired Air Force colonel and a former Ware selectman, is among those who petitioned the judge on Pentlarge’s behalf. Thomas is now president of the Palmer Airport Association and also the CEO of Riverside Aviation Inc., an aviation dealer in Ware. Before Pentlarge’s arrest, Thomas and Pentlarge had worked closely together to preserve the community airport, which was at risk of being shut down.

When Judge McDonald castigated “substantial citizens” for being blind to Pentlarge’s crimes, he held Thomas’ letter, among others, in his hand. The crimes had taken a toll on the community, Thomas wrote. But he wasn’t referring to Pentlarge’s victims: “It would be a great loss to the community and the pilots who depend on us saving the Palmer Airport,” Thomas wrote, “if we lost [Pentlarge's] valuable legal services for a number of years.” In asking for leniency, Thomas mentioned neither Pentlarge’s crimes nor his victims.

“One of my big fears,” wrote Clifford D. Heaton, a Springfield attorney, “is that tenants will stop paying rent and building mortgages will be foreclosed so Pentlarge will lose his only source of income.”

Also among the letters pleading for leniency is one from a lawyer for DSS, Nappan said. The letter was not included in the stack McDonald released to the Advocate; Nappan, however, kept a copy in his files. “The letter from the lawyer for [the child protective agency] basically says, ‘Joel’s a good guy and shouldn’t go to jail.’ After sentencing, this same guy says to law enforcement, ‘I’m ambivalent about my role here.’”

The justifications of the letter-writers and of others interviewed by the prosecution are nothing if not callous in their disregard for the victims. Worse yet, some seem to believe Pentlarge was a “benign” perpetrator.

“How can you say that,” Nappan said, “when this was rape?”

There is a sickening irony in public accounts of the Pentlarge case: Pentlarge’s acts of social beneficence in Ware’s civic affairs and at Valley Human Services not only helped camouflage his crimes but actually enabled him to continue to victimize some of the very people VHS, and social service agencies in general, exist to help.

Investigators say allegations swirled about Pentlarge for years. Neighbors had inklings, teachers raised question, the state police had suspicions. The victims simply never had the standing or credibility or support to make their accusations against Pentlarge stick.

One victim, Tommy, claims he confided in counselors at VHS that Pentlarge was molesting him. He says he spoke with a counselor in the early 1990s. In fact, he says, the counselor initiated the conversation.

“She was a little worried about him herself,” Tommy said. “She had asked me if Joel had ever touched me and I said ‘Yeah, he has.’ I thought we’d talk about it more, but we didn’t get into it in any detail or anything. That was the only time I mentioned it. I really thought they were going to help. Nothing happened.”

Social service agencies, teachers, doctors and other professionals who are responsible for children are so-called “mandated reporters”; if they know a child is being abused, or even have a strong suspicion, they are obliged to file a complaint with DSS. Nappan said he is satisfied that Valley Human Services never withheld information to protect Pentlarge. He said there is no information to suggest that VHS broke the law.

Whether VHS did the right thing is another matter, one that will likely haunt the agency and the community it serves for a long time.

A human services professional familiar with the case said VHS counselors who treated some of the boys noted that some boys’ actions and responses to questions raised serious concerns about sexual abuse. There were suspicions about Pentlarge, the source said, but nothing ever happened because the boys never made a direct accusation.

That fact raises a troubling question for VHS: If state law mandates reporting if there is a suspicion of abuse, why didn’t VHS counselors confide in DSS? The agency’s official response, according to VHS Vice Chairman Kevin O’Regan, is that suspicion is one thing, evidence is another. There simply was no evidence that Pentlarge had done anything wrong.

One of the more troubling aspects of VHS’s association with Pentlarge is that even after the grand jury returned its multi-count rape indictment against Pentlarge, the agency itself took no action against him.

When reached by the Advocate, VHS Director Evie Glickman said she would not discuss Pentlarge. “I’m sure you can understand that this has been a very difficult time for [the agency],” Glickman said. “It’s over and we want to put it behind us.”

When asked what action the agency took against Pentlarge, Glickman acknowledged it had taken none. Pentlarge took a leave of absence in 1998 after the first indictment was handed up. When it was clear in the fall of 1999 that the DA’s office wanted to prosecute, Pentlarge resigned.

As an agency whose primary mission it is to protect and lift up the most vulnerable members of society, VHS failed. Not solely because it never saw the warning signs in one of its own, but also by remaining silent even after Pentlarge admitted he raped some of VHS’s own clients.

“Pentlarge was pretty clever,” said David Heinlein, who represents one of the boys who are seeking damages in two separate civil suits against Pentlarge. (Pentlarge’s lawyer in the civil suit, William Newman, declined to be interviewed for this story and said Pentlarge would not be interviewed either.) “His victims were individuals who had some history in terms of their own personal problems. And he created a he-said, she-said type of situation: ‘I’m Joel Pentlarge and I have a certain stature in this town and who’s going to believe you over me?’

“The second part of his justification was, ‘Even if I did what was alleged, how did I hurt you kids? You have this tainted history. You can’t ever prove that anything I did to you is any worse than what had happened to you in your own lives.’”

VHS’s O’Regan, a U.S. attorney who now heads the Justice Department’s Springfield office, joined the board in 1998, about a year before Pentlarge resigned in disgrace. O’Regan said an internal review determined that VHS officials knew nothing about Pentlarge that could or should have alerted them to his pedophilic behavior. The VHS board and the agency as a whole, O’Regan said, feel not so much a sense of guilt over Pentlarge as one of violation, an awful realization that one among them had so perversely dishonored the agency’s central mission.

“There has … been a profound effect on the board and on the agency as a whole that someone that it trusted committed such horrible crimes that were so contrary to what we as an agency try to do,” O’Regan said. “We exist to help people who are troubled and vulnerable. The fact that Joel took advantage of troubled children, that he raped them, is deeply disturbing. What Joel did was exploit the vulnerabilities of these kids, and that’s part of what is so disturbing.”

Pentlarge’s oldest victim is nearly 30 now. He could have been a VHS poster child: poor, illiterate, needy. He was 13 when the rapes began. He never learned to read or write, Nappan said. But he can fix almost anything. He now works as a mechanic in Vermont. Every day he wakes up and puts on two layers of clothes. He told Nappan he can’t stand the thought of someone undressing him.

In 1992, when he was 20, he told an investigator with the Massachusetts Board of Bar Overseers that when he was 15, “he had been forced by [Pentlarge] to have sex at least five times,” according to court files.

BBO investigator Robert Prince said in an interview with the Advocate that he investigated the complaint against Pentlarge and included the boy’s account in his final report to the BBO. But the board took no action against Pentlarge until December 2000, well after he had admitted to his 15-year string of rapes.

Neither Prince nor the BBO, which investigates allegations of professional misconduct by lawyers, will discuss the 1992 complaint against Pentlarge or the board’s inquiry into it. Earlier this month, however, the board disbarred Pentlarge, according to BBO Counsel Daniel Crane. Even so, Pentlarge may apply for reinstatement in eight years, Crane said. If the BBO’s past practices are any indication, Pentlarge stands about an 80 percent chance of practicing in Massachusetts again, according to a recent Boston Globe investigative report. Since 1990, 19 of the 25 lawyers who have been disbarred, forced to resign or indefinitely suspended have been reinstated on request, the Globe reported.

By the time Joel Pentlarge stood before Judge McDonald to hear his sentence, there was virtually no punishment that could make up for the ways in which the system had repeatedly failed his victims. Even after sentencing, justice had not truly been served, at least not in McDonald’s eyes.

“This is not an appropriate sentence for one of the crimes, let alone the five to which he has pled guilty,” McDonald said at sentencing. “And I cannot give the defendant leniency. He does not deserve leniency. He deserves punishment and scorn. …

“His life and the past 15 years have no redeeming value. For 15 years, by his own admission, he was a sexual predator, a child rapist, a molester of young boys.”

McDonald went on to say he had decided to accept the plea bargain out of respect for the victims who had been silenced by the community that held Pentlarge in such high esteem. If the boys, some of whom are now men, preferred to “avoid the public ordeal of testifying,” McDonald said, he would not force them to go to trial and bare their souls.

In retrospect, Tommy said, he wishes the judge had.

“[Pentlarge] doesn’t deserve three to four years. He deserves the rest of his life,” Tommy said. “He doesn’t even deserve his life, in my opinion. But, I don’t know, I’m not the judge.”

Pentlarge’s thoughts and motives are his own. But interviews with both his victims and his defenders and information contained in court documents and letters written on his behalf, help sketch a rough picture of him, a portrait of a man who had convinced himself that his sexual escapades, though likely to be misunderstood by the majority, were perfectly normal, or at the very least, defensible. If Pentlarge ever thought of himself as a perpetrator, he likely considered his acts “benign.”

“Some people still think we railroaded Joel,” Nappan said. “There’s still this big, unresolved issue for a lot of people. Joel broke the law, that’s clear. But what actual harm did he do? Joel would say he offered a safe, loving environment for kids from disenfranchised families. I don’t think Joel thinks he did anything wrong, but he certainly knows he did something illegal.” *

Boys Don’t Tell:
Why sex crimes against young males are tough to crack

Amassing evidence against Joel Pentlarge was relatively light work for state police and the district attorney compared to what it took to get his adolescent boy victims to testify that he had raped them.

Surveys of adults conducted over the past 20 years suggest that adolescents are the victims in 90 percent to 95 percent of all sex crimes against males, according to research conducted by the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center. Men were the perpetrators in 80 percent of the cases.

“There is the stereotypical concept that only women and children get victimized,” said Kenneth V. Lanning, supervisory special agent at the FBI Academy at Quantico, Va., and one of the agency’s top experts on sex offenders. “That’s only because boys who have been sexually victimized don’t talk.”

Lanning was slated to be an expert witness in the Pentlarge case before Pentlarge forfeited his right to a trial last July and accepted a lenient plea agreement that put him in jail for just three to four years.

One of the FBI’s leading experts on child sexual abuse, the recently retired Lanning is an alumni of both the Behavioral Science Unit that was creepily immortalized in Silence of the Lambs and the elite Missing and Exploited Children Task Force. In more than three decades tracking society’s most monstrous predators, Lanning had witnessed the “worst of the worst.” He understands perpetrators’ basic motives and methods; he knows their mind games.

Perpetrators exploit children’s’ weaknesses. The children in these cases are typically not 4-, 5- or 6-year-olds but young teenagers with complicated lives. Add poverty or family dysfunction, as was the case with most of Pentlarge’s victims, and the perpetrator’s leverage increases.

“Most kids get into this for the attention,” Lanning said. “For some there’s material gain, money, presents. And in some cases, there may even be enjoyment of the sexual activity. We don’t like to say that; we don’t like to admit that. … But that’s the truth, even though it’s almost the forbidden thing to say.

“There is no human being on the face of the earth who is easier to seduce into sexual activity than an adolescent boy,” Lanning said. “What’s the difference between seducing an adult woman and an adolescent boy?” Lanning asked abruptly. It’s a rhetorical question: “It’s about a thousand times easier to seduce a boy.”

Boys are intensely interested in sex and are actively exploring their sexuality; they are easily aroused and also sexually naïve. They are rebels with raging hormones. Because of these factors, Lanning said, teenage boys are often the targets of pedophile seduction.

But the numbers don’t show it.

Cases in which adolescent boys are the victims are among the most difficult to crack. Primarily because the stigma against homosexuality is so great, boys who are raped don’t talk — not solely out of shame or self-loathing or the simple impulse to wish it all away; boys don’t tell because they recognize, quite correctly, that society does not understand what happened to them, how they were seduced, and most pointedly, how they could let it to happen to them.

All kids crave attention, affection and kindness. What the perpetrators do in pursuit of their victims is nothing more and nothing less than seduction, Lanning said. “If this kind of activity was between two teenagers or two adults, it would be called dating,” Lanning said. “There’s a big difference, though, when this is occurring between a child or teenager and an adult, of course, because children can’t give consent.”

Pedophiles like Pentlarge are the “elite” of child molesters: men who are smart and likeable, with the kind of traits and habits human resource types call “good interpersonal skills.” And most perpetrators, Lanning said, need every ounce of sophistication and savvy to keep their house of cards from collapsing.

“Listen, have you ever tried to have sexual relationships with two, three, four people at a time? This is a delicate balancing act,” Lanning said. “These kinds of perpetrators have a lot to juggle. In the end, most of them end up making some kind of stupid mistake.”

– JoAnn DiLorenzo

Walking into Stitches hands

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

We had our board meeting
« on: Today at 07:39:31 PM »

We had our board meeting. It was agreed that Lets has been harassing me and pm ing and emailing people as a “war on Cheryl” and has said he has told them HIS story and “everyone” is on Let’s side.
It was agreed that Lets has been told and emailed and Pm’d over and over again in the last month and he adamantly refuses to stop.
I compromised in what I would accept several times in the meeting.
It was discussed that we need a policy.
I pointed out that we DO have a policy and have had a policy and read the policy to the board.
The policy is clear!
EVEN OUR BYLAWS ARE CLEAR! But everytime I said I wanted something, I was shot down.
Oh we should tell Lets as of today that he has to follow the policy. Yea sure, like anything else has worked with lets and HE DARN WELL KNOWS THE POLICY AND WHERE IT IS> He was in staff and discussed the policy multiple times.
SO it all kept comming down to letting Lets continue what he is doing even tho he has been told for over a month to STOP IT>
When I read the policy and that too was shot down in Lets favor I just said ok you can have lets…I quit..
The choice for me was that I either let lets continue what he has publicly declaired he is going to keep doing and just deal with it, or I go. I think I have made it quite clear for the last 3 days that I have had enough of being abused and maligned on my own forum.
The 3 other members of the BOD that were there, LINDA
OH and Linda says I am very bitchy and mean to people on the forum….that she cringes when she reads my posts…sure would have been nice to know THAT before this…she always told me I was great and that she and I were interchangable.
Things sure did run well in the 3 weeks to a month she was gone when she was sick and then moved…I didn’t RUIN SOSEN then.
Linda has finally spoken up about how she feels about me as a COO and that is NOT GOOD!
OK I AM GONE>

Lets and stitches win.

Stitches knew this was going on. She posted in SOA about a coup taking place at sosen and said I would be gone. Probably she was one of our members that Let s pm’d , of course not knowing she was stitches. Way to walk right into AZ’s hands

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely


lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

That is NOT what happened. Ask Static and Topwop. Cheryl is mad because I will not PUBLICLY yell at Lets in the forum. My COO needs to lead by example.

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

Hmmm I have a tape of it Linda, and that is just what happened.
You all decided that we could not tell Lets on the fourm to stop
I compromised to just making a general statement that members were not allowed to send subversive PM’s emails or telephone calles against others.
That was OK for just a hot minute and then that got talked down.
So I said that Billm, Lobster and Static and me have weighed in and said that lets should go… that was unexceptable.
It was all about…Lets tell Lets that he has to stop this, in a pm.
We have been doing that for over a month and it STILL is not working.
you guys talked about needing a policy.
I said we have a policy and I read some of the pertenent parts.
Well, suddenly having a policy that is posted promently in FIRST STOP SOSEN POLICY was not good enough either.
We need to post that policy in National and give lets another chance.
Everyone who knows Lets KNOWS DARN WELL HE HAS READ THE POLICY AND HAS USED THE POLICY IN THE PAST>
After a hour and 45 minutes of being told that everything I suggested was not acceptable and that Lets was going to stay even tho he has been trying to get me kicked out of SOSEN for a month and even Stitches of AZ knew about it Lets stays and Cheryl GOES.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
AS I said I have a tape of the meeting if you think I am not telling the truth.
There was a lot more in that hour and a half.
Like me reading the post Linda says I was personally attacking Lets and Lets was not mentioned in it at all. NOT AT ALL> All I did was make a general statement that subversive pming and emailing should be reported to staff. NO MENTION OF LETS WHATSOEVER…if he took it personally it was because he knows he is guilty of it.

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

SO now you deleted my good by post to the members I have worked with and slaved over for just as long as you have?
That is SO wrong!

this was all it said

It has been my privilege to work for, and with all of you. SOSEN has grown so much in the last year it is incredible. It has become a force to be reckoned with. I have been fighting this battle for 4 years now and I have learned and grown so much in that time. I have accomplished things I could never have done were it not for the grace of God equipping the called, and of course for every one of you.
I think the hardest and most painful battles I have fought were ones that occurred within SOSEN.
I can take what ever the Anti’s throw at me, but I am vulnerable to those I have trusted and called friend.
I have also never been one for self aggrandizement. What I have done, I have attributed to SOSEN. We are a TEAM! SO I will not make this into an “ALL THAT I HAVE DONE FOR SOSEN” speech.
I simply wanted to tell you all that you have been my family and I Love you. Every moment of this battle, every stress and pain has been worth it and more, each time I read an article that tells at least some of the truth, every time someone says “thank God I found SOSEN” every time a reporter or legislator changes his mind on these horrible laws. And especially when someone gets back on their feet or wins their freedom from the lifetime of abuse the Scarlet Letter of Sex Offender has placed on them.
I will NOT be starting a new group or forum. The RSO support and education community does not need another forum. It needs everyone to stand TOGETHER, in NUMBERS too big to ignore! I will, however continue my advocacy. I will continue to fight with every breath I have in me. I will just be doing it on my own now. I would love for you all to know exactly why this has happened, but I cannot do that on the forum. I am sure you will hear much rumor and one sided bologna, but I can only trust those who know me to know that it would take something really big to make me leave SOSEN. Believe me, if there had not been a war waged against me, and it be allowed to continue, I would not be going anywhere. SOSEN has been my life. I will now make a new life. I thought I could remain at SOSEN as just a member, but with the vitriol going on behind the scenes, that chance is looking slimmer and slimmer.
You all take care of yourselves now! Many of you have my email address and for those who do not have my phone number and may want to call contact Billm and he will know who it is safe to give my number to. I don’t have to tell you to stay strong and keep fighting the good fight, because I already know you will.
God Bless you all. I will miss you.

Stitches, you were right, there was a coup going on against me. I laughed at you when you said that, but I guess the last laugh is on me. The thing is, you may have taken MY voice out of sosen, but there are MANY MORE voices there! Mine is not the only voice. In the grand scheme of things, this is only a very, very small victory for you. SOSEN will remain strong and will remain a very large thorn in your side. I DO get the last laugh on that one.

What the hell do you find so threatening about that linda?

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

NO Cheryl YOU said That On of two thing had to happen. Either I pyblicly yell at Lets on the forum or he goes. Sound like an ultimatum to me

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

You have a problem with your short term memory, bet I know why. Thats why I taped it.
I compromised several times and the compromises were not accepted.
EXACTLY what I said happened, happened.
ASK STATIC OR I WILL BE haPPY TO SHARE THE TAPE
and you did not answer why you deltetd my good bye message. There was nothing wrong with it

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Cheryl Take a deep breath. Sleep on this.. You are STILL TRYING to air dirty linen on the board

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

I tried talking to you and top and static for an hour and 45 minutes.
Nothing I said was good enough.
You all chose lets
END OF STORY

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Cheryl I am still willing to work things out with you. You do not have to leave. Please stop reacting with pure emotion and take a deep breath. Sleep on this. We love you. You HATE to be told you are wrong.. Something else is happening with you then just this.I am worried about you. You need SOSEN as well as we need you. Cheryl you and I have always worked well together.
Linda

klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member

I am sorry it had to end like this….Cheryl please reconsider and work on this…. sad1 sad5

billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

Just curious, Received a pm that members looking at who’s online shows Cheryl as hidden. Have never seen that before

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

All you have to do is to go into your profile and click the button that you do not wish to show your online status.
For some reason that lists you as hidden.
Who in the world would pm you about that and how would they KNOW it was me?

topwop
SOSEN Staff
Member

topwop@gallatinriver.net

Cheryl,
I am sorry you are gone you will be missed. You have done a great amount of work here and accomplished much.

You never mentioned that you were recording the meeting, and permission was never granted. That is too bad. That also is very unprofessional.

You should play that tape for the people that are interested, it is very revealing. You also need SOSENS permission to do so. You have mine.

Your picture of a battered woman with her mouth taped shut is in appallingly bad taste and needs to be removed immediately. That is also very unprofessional.

Your willingness to reveal and twist what was talked about in a SOSEN Board Meeting also is very unprofessional.

I am tired of your threats to quit if we do not give you your way.
I personally accept your resignation and wish you well. If you ever wish to come back we will deal with you openly and honestly and you will be welcomed.
Best of luck and best wishes.
topwop

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

Yep, I taped it because I knew Linda would not admit what took place there. I have no intention of sharing it with anyone as long as no one lies about what was said. How the heck am I twisting anything when I have the tape of the blasted conversation.
I went directly from the meeting to post this thread and it was PAINFULLY fresh in my mind.
I have not threatened anything, I stated a fact. I compromised over and over and over again and it was never enough.
You all had SEVERAL choices. You asked me what I needed, I told you, I compromised on that time and time again.
In the end, after an hour and 45 minutes when you stated that the posted policies, that Lets has read and commented on multiple times needed to be posted in National and lets given another chance to repent. When YOU KNOW that there is NO way to tell what he is doing in a pm and has stated he will not stop till I am gone.
SO I had a choice either deal with Let’s abuse and total non support of the CEO who said I was mean and nasty in my posts on the forum and she CRINGES when she reads them…I am just mean and nasty and hold grudges…
What other REAL options did I have but to quit? NONE It was not a threat, it was a promise.

Monday, September 29, 2008

AZ/PJ Never got past the front door

AZ/PJ Never got past the front door

Just a thought
InboxX

Rod Wagner to Linda, Michael, me, Kathleen, Lois

fromRod Wagner <letsgetreal50@gmail.com>
toLinda Pehrson <lindape1ster@gmail.com>,
Michael <book38@cox.net>,
"Bron K.V." <bkvstonegirl98@gmail.com>,
Kathleen Cameron <phd_canadian@yahoo.com>,
Lois Sandy <gospelgal2000@yahoo.com>

dateSat, Jun 14, 2008 at 7:58 AM
subjectJust a thought
mailed-bygmail.com
I wonder if AZ or PJ could have infiltrated staff !!!!! (?????????) realize Cheryl has influence on individuals. BUT, if they could infiltrate. What a better way than to take advantage of the situation in trying to get me banned.

Like I said, Just a thought. But worth considering. I don't have Topwop's current e-mail address. Someone please send him a copy of this.

Rod

Michael to Linda, me, Kathleen, Lois, Rod
show details Jun 14 (8 days ago) Reply


fromMichael <book38@cox.net>
toLinda Pehrson <lindape1ster@gmail.com>,
"Bron K.V." <bkvstonegirl98@gmail.com>,
Kathleen Cameron <phd_canadian@yahoo.com>,
Lois Sandy <gospelgal2000@yahoo.com>,
Rod Wagner <letsgetreal50@gmail.com>

dateSat, Jun 14, 2008 at 10:03 AM
subjectRe: Just a thought
mailed-bycox.net
They did not get behind the curtain. Cheryl is having a bad time in life at the moment. She needs our prayers and some understanding. Staff needs to be as careful as possible not to let anyone in that would be a deterrent to fighting for our cause. This comes from being VERY selective when they let some one in.

You can rest assured that AZ/PJ and the other assholes never got passed the front door.

Mike

The ex coo said “I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I”

Friday, October 31, 2008

The ex coo said “I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I”

topwop
SOSEN Staff
Member

topwop@gallatinriver.net

THIS FIGHT ENDS TODAY
« on: June 03, 2008, 08:09:29 AM »

SOSEN COMES FIRST OUR MEMBERS COME FIRST THIS FIGHTING STOPS TODAY

Enough is enough.
Linda has NEVER issued Cheryl any ultimatum, neither have I or anyone else. We have all over and over again ASKED Cheryl to simply take some time, compose herself, and stop posting to this insanity.
Cheryl was told at a BOD meeting by Static, Linda, and I that her demands that Lets be publicly flogged was not going to happen, it is unprofessional and not going to happen, when you have a problem with someone you deal with it privately. That is the respect EVERYONE gets in this organization. She then demanded that his account be deleted or she was gone. AGAIN we told her that was not going to happen and WE compromised that we would talk to Lets “AGAIN”, but that was not enough for her so she quit and hung up.

I have stayed neutral on this and have been trying to play peace maker, but no more.

SOSEN COMES FIRST
Our ex coo has put herself, her feelings, her wants, her needs and her desires ahead of everyone and everything WE are trying to do. Reading back through her threads what stands out to me is I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,.

She “claims” Lets and Flower attacked HER? Where are these phantom posts?
I have seen nothing, nothing that I feel is inappropriate. But yet I have talked to lets on two occasions and have had full cooperation from him. Go to his member file and read his last posts……nothing. Cheryl does not like lets and lets does not like Cheryl.
The difference to me comes with the 30 smites she has given him these last several days. We as BOD and you as Staff do not get the luxury of picking sides but must deal with “FACTS”. We all talk about hype and hysteria, emotion vs facts, apply it!!

Fact: Cheryl deleted lets very appropriate posts, called them “garbage”
Fact :Cheryl has backed everyone in a corner with “it’s Let’s or me.
Fact: Every conversation WE have had with her gets twisted around.
Fact: She knowingly secretly recorded our BOD meeting, that’s “ILLEGAL”.
Fact: She refuses to take blame for any of her actions, instead points the blame on anyone and everyone that will not take HER side and stand with her.

No one need take sides against a fellow SOSEN member, something she demands.

We have all been dragged into the middle of this by one person only, as members we do not deserve or expect this, we are volenteers on another more important mission that we need to get back to working toward.

This fight stops today, Cheryl’s has taken her bat, ball, and glove and left on her own only because “WE” will not take sides and give in to her.

I have tried to stop this, so have many others.

Putting Lobster in the position to delete her because once again she knows Linda will not is unfair to him and to her. It only plays on pure emotion.

Give me the authority to do this and I will do what for right now is in SOSENS best interest. I as BOD will accept this unpopular duty. This is why I was elected to BOD by staff, to sometimes make unpopular decisions. SOSEN COMES FIRST!
Cheryl is and will always be welcomed to come back here, but under the terms we all accept not under her mandates and demands.

Cheryl, I will miss you, god bless and come back when you are ready.
topwop

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

AMEN!!!!

lobster1138
SOSEN Staff
Member

she already deleted her own account, the deletion is just waiting for admin approval… once she deleted it, she could not log on anymore…

i’ll go ahead and “approve” the deletion… don’t want to, but i’ll do it…

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

NO let it sit there!


lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

too late! I STILL want Cheryl to come back. SHE NEEDS TO STOP FIGHTING WITH THE ANTI’S!! IT IS changing her. She was over there again last night. She needs a couple of days AWAY from the computer.

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

Cheryl needs the time to regroup. I hope/think she will be back. There is no way we can easily replace her.
Granted, anyone can be replaced. The key is how much pain it causes the organization. That is why I can fight with my boss, ask him what part of his butt he pulled his latest “idea” from and still have a job the next day.

MomOf2
SOSEN Staff
Member

I have had to take some time away from my computer myself. I HAVE a full-time job, and can’t do more than little bits at work. SOSEN is important, very important, but it’s beginning to make my significant other uncomfortable. I had to take some time just to keep peace at home because Cheryl was NOT acting professionally. Thanks for putting everything so clearly and concisely.
I HOPE (with the new rules for staff behavior posted on the sticky) that this will run a bit more calmly. We get enough from outside. We shouldn’t be doing it to ourselves.

Yours for grace and mercy,
Lois

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

I am on the same sinking ship. I work 50-60 hours per week. That iws why I am not around that much.

“East German Stasi” Part 1- Sosen deletes posts and rips new ones

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

reported post
« on: January 14, 2008, 08:43:45 AM »
——————————————————————————–

nkrso wrote this in the thread I NEED HELP A gay man is in a domestic violent relationship and asked about housing in Fl I also noticed nK karma is-6

Re: I need help!!!!
« Reply #6 on: Today at 12:12:20 AM »
——————————————————————————–
can you go to that bridge where there are other RSO?

I doubt your partner will follow you there. and that way you won’t be alone.

——————————————————————————–

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Karma: 16

——————————————————————————–
minus 6 is not good. How this guy ever made it to Roar’s BOD is beyond me. But it does explain one reason why Roar is so ineffective.

I say, delete the post. We cannot recommend “under a bridge!”

Or just raise hell about the post.

Lets
——————————————————————————–

Billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I thought his comments were in poor taste.
I’m concerned that comments by people like nkrso are being used against SOSEN by people like WASP and AZ.

Posted by ( Stitches77 ) on January 1, 2008 at 2:22 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
It could also be used to counterbalance their acts of civil disobedience. You know, how Sosen said to make hundreds of email accounts and register them so the system is overburdened and can’t function?
Oh, yeah, and how they encourage destroying GPS monitors just to cost the taxpayers more money knowing it will have to be replaced? Why, Kevin Misner was destroying 3 of them a week. He estimated he had already cost the taxpayers over 10,000 just in replaced GPS monitors.
And let’s certainly not forget their plan to use liquid latex on their faces so they can’t be identified. Can’t forget that one.

They are trying to make the comments of one member to appear as policy of SOSEN.

IMO, I think we at least need a disclaimer.

Here is a sample that would need to be modified for our use.

Disclaimer

Views expressed in the articles published in this site are solely those of the authors and do not reflect those of the publisher or the editors of YoursDaily.com.

I have seen some that say do not necessarily reflect

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I agree with this disclaimer:

Views expressed in the articles published in this site are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher
——————————————————————————–

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
When I saw that post last night, I was in the process of ripping nkrso a new one, but I read it again and I’m not sure he didn’t mean it sincerely, so I waited to see what you all thought of it. I have had my problems with nkrso, but I’m starting to think he’s just dumb. Or at least I hope so- some of his posts in the past have been potentially harmful, and I’ve tried to monitor his posts in order to respond appropriately. I just don’t know if he meant it as a snide comment, or if he actually thought it was good advice. Those of you who know him better- let me know, and I’ll respond accordingly. He seems to back off quickly when I get on him for posting dumb things..

——————————————————————————–

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I think he is either dumb or trying to make sosen look bad.
——————————————————————————–

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I didn’t know he was BOD of another organization. That could explain a lot…

——————————————————————————–

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I questioned Betty of Roar concerning him and she told me he was a BOD member.

I’ll see if I can dig up her e-mail.
——————————————————————————–

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
Quote from Betty:

“NK was one of the very first people that joined Roar. He is also on our Board of Directors.”

Betty

——————————————————————————–

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I see someone already deleted his assinine post, so let’s just keep our eyes on this guy. I’ll verbally bitch-slap him if he keeps getting out of line. For some reason, he doesn’t argue with me much…
——————————————————————————–

Billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
Quote from: static on January 14, 2008, 11:21:51 AM
I see someone already deleted his assinine post, so let’s just keep our eyes on this guy. I’ll verbally bitch-slap him if he keeps getting out of line. For some reason, he doesn’t argue with me much…

Wouldn’t it be better to remove the post then PM him, politely explaining it was in poor taste and not acceptable in this forum. Do it in a nice way and if he can’t agree with that, it’s time for him to hit the road. We definiely don’t want to respond to him where wasp and az can read it.

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
Go for it.
——————————————————————————–

Billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
I tried, but wasn’t as polite as I would like to be. Sorry

Here is PM I sent him.

Regarding this post by you:

“can you go to that bridge where there are other RSO?

I doubt your partner will follow you there. and that way you won’t be alone”

I’m sure you meant well, but IMO it was in poor taste. It’s very important we think before we post on SOSEN. How would you feel if you were seeking help and received a reply like that. Please be more considerate of others in future comments. Have a great day
Bill

letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
Nothing to be sorry about. Tell it like it is.

Lets
——————————————————————————–

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–

Quote from: Billm on January 14, 2008, 11:41:59 AM
Wouldn’t it be better to remove the post then PM him, politely explaining it was in poor taste and not acceptable in this forum. Do it in a nice way and if he can’t agree with that, it’s time for him to hit the road. We definiely don’t want to respond to him where wasp and az can read it.

Bill, your a better diplomat than I. I’ve had a few “run-ins” with nkrso, so I’m a little biased. You’re right about the way we should handle this..
——————————————————————————–

klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member

——————————————————————————–
Bill,
I thought you handled your response very well and appropriately. No need to be sorry.
Kathy

Sosen isn’t the Gestapo “Put up or shut up”

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Anyone else notice this?
« on: Today at 05:58:13 AM »
Reply with quote Modify message Remove message Split Topic

Ok- here we go again… And of course Lets is in it up to his eyebrows. Isn’t this the same Tmax who left in a tizzy the last time we disagreed with his and Lets’ “vision”?

http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=4716.msg24124#msg24124

Author Topic: Better Focus! (Read 29 times)
tmaximus95
Member

Let’s be Activists!

Better Focus!
« on: June 01, 2008, 05:37:53 PM »
________________________________________
I think SOSEN should focus on support and education issues, and become a real therapeutic type of site. It’s just my opinion, but SOSEN is all over the place, and doesn’t appear to focus on personal support. I think that’s where SOSEN’s niche should be. There’s a great number of caring people here, but no one’s getting anything material done. Things with substance that affects us all.

The bottom line is that I think that SOSEN should stay focused on support and education, and let other sites focus in their own areas. There’s so much fragmentation and disenfranchisement going on that it’s a wonder that we could ever get anything solid done about these laws.

Warm Regards.

TMax.


WillySO
SOSEN Staff
Member

________________________________________
Support and education are highly important. I share your views on that. Speaking only for myself, I will say that I get all I need of that from everyone. Being here has been a terrific family experience for me and done me worlds of good. May I suggest you be very specific about what it is you think we are not doing in this area?

What I find myself in disagreement with is your view (if I read you correctly) that the work we are doing to actively influence and change some of these laws is mis-directed. There are highly organized and determined groups out there working to further restrict and punish us for our crimes. To sit idly by and not take an active role in the politics of this issue seems like a big mistake for me.

I think we can, and do, do a great job of both support, education, and active political action. If we seem disorganized and scatered it might be because you don’t see everything that goes on behind the scenes. We are a diverse group with many, often contradictory, opinions. Somehow in spite of that most of us understand that the thing that unites us in this battle is much stronger then those things that sometimes put us at odds with each other.

As the lowest of the low on the publics list of dispised ex-criminals we are all very aware of this culture’s willingness (dare I say eagerness) to judge us as being unfit to live. I can’t speak for anyone else on this, but let me say that having gone thru what I have gone thru tends to make me less likely to judge others. Sure there are some folks here to love to shout and disagree. Sometimes they make unnessary trouble for others. But I am reluctant to judge them cause I am far from perfect myself.

We know that God and our mothers forgive us for what we have done, now the battle continues for the public at large and our legislators in particular. In my opinion support and education are important but far more important is the job of fighting these stupid laws.

If we just lay down and take it, we have given these victims rights groups just the outcome they wanted all along.

I guess I still have fight left in me. Depends on the day really. Today was a good day.

Willy

LetsGetReal

Re: Better Focus!
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2008, 08:47:26 PM »
________________________________________
Tmax, I know and understand what your saying. However, your post is too short and needs more information.
If I can interject something here. Yes. Sosen is primarily a support and education and hopefully always will be. Support is vital to the individual and family members. Education is also vital. Members tend to educate one another by posting, reading the news as well as scientific fact and empirical data. We comment on the forum, learn from one another on the board.

The forum is certainly a good place to be whether your a lurker or active.

I think what becomes frustrating to those who want to do more is the fact that sosen does not have enough workers who are diverse enough at taking sosen down several paths at one time.

It’s tough enough doing what sosen does with the amount of people that get involved. A handful end up working their butts off, while the majority stay disconnected from coming forward.

That’s always been the case as I comprehend it.

Now, I know where your coming from as I know what is going on. I’m excited about it.

Why not write a letter and submit it to staff. Explain what your allowed to reveal, as I know much is TOP SECRET. and it is in my opinion HUGE to the cause. There are several things happening as we speak.
This I can say, there are now 5 more state sites being built. and four specific sites each dealing with specific issues. And more will come.

I believe what Tmax is saying is that we need to understand one anothers function and purpose and be very supportive of one another. We need to do this by forming a coalition of CEO’s of various web sites and become united like never before.

Sosen is the very best Support and Education network in the world. We, can all in our own right be the best that there is. cfcoklahoma is just getting started as is 5 others. In time, TOGETHER, we will become the strong force that together brings down these unconstitutional laws.

I’ll shut up and wait for Tmax to put his thoughts down and send them to staff.
—————————————

http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=3475.msg24122#msg24122
Re: I’m a journalist deeply troubled by SO laws and treatments
« Reply #33 on: June 01, 2008, 05:30:46 PM »

________________________________________
I believe what’s needed is articles showing the positive aspects of former offenders who’ve been successful in the community. I also think the articles should focus on the injustices being perpetrated on kids because of this onslaught of hatred and contempt for the truth.

This battle against sex offenders was won through angry emotionalism, and it will be defeated in like kind. That goes against what most people believe, but for the nice folks that think that being soft when your rights are being stripped from you is the way to go, well please, stay away from me. For anyone that wants to become a REAL ACTIVIST, please contact me here, or through my email.
Anyway, it’s nice to see some journalists with some ethics and integrity on this forum. I wish there were more like you, I think?

TMax.

http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=4715.msg24121#msg24121

Topic: Hi All! I’m TMaximus95 (Read 33 times)
tmaximus95
Member

Hi All! I’m TMaximus95
« on: June 01, 2008, 05:21:00 PM »
________________________________________
I’ve been around for awhile, and have become an activist of sorts since the inception of these sex offender restrictions policies. I’m a leader, and a doer. I need to find a support home, where sex offender support and education is happening within the realms of sex offender recovery. I can be an emotional guy, but I’m too pissed off right now to be emotional

I believe that together, all of us, we can overcome the stupidity incorporated into these sex offender laws. We need to confront our representatives and point out the evil of their ways. We must be nice at first, but then, kick their butts if they don’t listen. I’m ready, are you?

I want to only be associated with activists that believe in material/real accomplishments. I don’t believe that posting gripes on an internet forum is where it’s at. I think the real battle is on the streets, with your neighbors and representatives. It’s better to make a friend through honesty, than it is to make an enemy over complacence.

Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help out with RSO Counseling, advice on relapse prevention, emotional support, and the education for those things. Are you freakin’ kidding me?!

You may want to visit my new site: http://www.rightsandlaw.net for strictly LEGAL topics on civil and human rights issues.Ah yes- the inevitable plug for your own site while downing Sosen. Why didn’t he just put it in his sig, like his buddy Lets did?

Warm Regards,

TMax.
________________________________________


Am I the only one who sees what’s going on in our forum? It was bad enough with Vanguard and F1 constantly insinuating that SOClear is where it’s at- Now I guess Tmax and Lets are in the mix. Personally, I’d be more than happy if they would all go over to SOClear with their claptrap. If we are so ineffective, why do they come here to promote themselves and their latest stupidity?

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: Anyone else notice this?
« Reply #1 on: Today at 06:07:16 AM »

We’d better figure out what we’re going to do with the SOClear radicals (this includes Lets)- I’m finding it more and more difficult to not use the old “flame thrower”. And once the flaming starts, it ain’t gonna be easy to douse the fire. angryfire

billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: Anyone else notice this?
« Reply #2 on: Today at 06:12:42 AM »

I see everything that goes on and it’s obvious that Lets is using SOSEN to push his own site.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Well, everyone does that. But what’s with all the SOClear people? This has been a quiet little problem for a while now. Lets is just aligning with them to further his own cause. But we’ve lately had a lot of SOClear promotion on the forum. And it’s usually coupled with criticism of Sosen. Ya gotta wonder- if we’re so ineffective and useless, why are they coming here instead of going to the marvelously effective SOClear? Tmax said he wants nothing to do with our brand of activism- so why’s he here? And isn’t it a bit odd how all of this smacks of coordination amongst these people? It would be an interesting exercise to look at who has been PMing more than normal (and with whom).

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Karma: 65
DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS

We need to just watch them. They are members and have valid points. This is a small close knit community.

I am not changing SOSENs focus. The “angry SO” is not how SOSEN goes about things.

I think everyone is at edge. We are not the gestopo here. Let folks talk if it is not hurting SOSEN.

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

My gut reaction is to have TMax, and those like him/her develop their own program and do it under the SOSEN umbrella. If T thinks we need more support, let T be the SOSEN counselor. That is, if T has the credentials, which I doubt.
It is the old, ” put up or shut up” gambit.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

No. uh-uh. Tmax shouldn’t be offered anything remotely like a leadership position- especially in our Therapy area.

I find it hard to believe that anyone here is unaware of what a few of our members are up to. Tmax’s posts, in particular, are divisive. This has nothing to do with the current controversy around here. I posted about this a while back in a thread titled “SOClear”. Thus far, there has been no action taken. We can sit and watch them some more- but I think we’ll be watching as they put the nail in the coffin of Sosen if we don’t start taking this seriously NOW. How much more “watching” do these people need before we decide to actually moderate the damn forum?

This thread is really just a repost of what I’ve already posted previously about SOClear- I’m doing the responsible thing by posting in Staff and trying to get some action. I’d be lying if I said that I’m not going to take care of this myself if all we can do as a group is drag our feet. Consensus is nice, but it doesn’t facilitate quick response. Margaret Thatcher said that consensus is the absense of leadership. We are the leaders of Sosen- we’d do well to lead ASAP.

There is much more going on in the background than we are admitting. There was a bit of a vacuum left when SoHopeful collapsed. We are the best ones to fill that vacuum. Unfortunately, SOClear is determined to do the same. The difference is that we aren’t sending our members over to SOClear to troll around for new recruits. They are doing this to us. And they are regularly downing Sosen in the process- and posting stuff which will be used against us. And Lets is right there with them, doing the same. Either we quickly come to terms with this, or I will.

No- we aren’t the Gestapo, but we are supposed to be moderating this forum. Otherwise, why do we even have a Staff? I’m doing the responsible thing and discussing this in Staff, instead of giving these idiots a verbal pounding. Meanwhile, they are still on our forum “doing what they do”. I won’t sit on my hands much longer.

So far, the only thing Staff has offered as a solution is to keep watching these idiots destroy us from within- are there any other suggestions? Because at some point, we are going to have to decide whether we are going to moderate this forum, or simply let the inmates run the asylum. At some point, we need to start actually running Sosen the way we see fit. I’m putting this out here so that we can reach a consensus about what to do. But doing something involves action. It’s time to clean house. Or we can “support” ourselves right into oblivion.

Cheryl’s not here- so who’s going to volunteer to be the “heavy” when we need it?

According to every person I’ve talked to, everyone is in agreement that if it came down to a decision between Lets and Cheryl, we’d all choose Cheryl hands down. But so far, Cheryl is the only one on moderation right now. I don’t really care who’s right and wrong- this is unfair. Everyone agrees that Lets started this- so why the hell isn’t he being muzzled like Cheryl is? We may not like Cheryl’s approach sometimes, but is there any doubt about what Lets is doing? And now because we’ve let him sit on our forum garnering his own version of “support”, we’ve got a whole group of people to deal with and Lets is making sure to be right in the thick of it. The situation as it currently stands is unacceptable. And frankly, we’d better do something about it very soon.

Here’s what I propose-

BOD agreed that Lets had only one more chance. He has used up his chances. He has been repeatedly warned by Linda for over a month now, and is obviously determined to continue his assinine behavior. Seeing how BOD agreed that this was his last chance and he was walking on thin ice- it’s time for Lets to go. Before anyone disagrees with me on this, I’d ask you to not only state your disagreement, but give good reason to keep him around- and also offer some other solution. If you can’t do this, then he needs to be shown the door.

Then we need to bring Cheryl back- no strings attached. She owes Linda an apology for some of the things she said, and Linda owes her an apology for punishing her while allowing Lets to do the same things. And that’s where this little controversy ends. Here’s what no one seems willing to say- Yeah, Cheryl posted about Lets in subtle ways in National. But he did it first. And Cheryl was the only one to be held accountable for doing this. To date, Lets has yet to be sanctioned in any way, and he continues to make Sosen all about him. Cheryl has shown no signs of being like Shirley- she just got pissed. The worst that would have happened is that she would’ve continued to argue and be pissed- that doesn’t deserve her being effectively banned from voicing her opinion. If we’re willing to say that Tmax, Lets, Vanguard, Fallenone, etc. have a right to voice their opinions when their opinions are so obviously antiSosen, why is it ok to muzzle Cheryl. What no one wants to admit is that when it comes to Lets, Cheryl was right. There’s no shame in admitting this and fixing the situation. Then, after we’ve dealt with the real threats to Sosen, we can all yell at Cheryl. It’s really dumb to deal with Cheryl as some sort of threat, yet let these idiots continue to actually BE threats. The truth is that if we didn’t have this current distraction, we’d be dealing with these important things. It’s time to hit the “reset button”, forgive and forget, and start taking care of SOSEN.

We can sit and argue about Cheryl all day long and get nowhere. Meanwhile we have members who are disrupting our forum and we are doing nothing but “watching”. If we’re all in agreement about Lets and his cronies, why are they still here? If we get rid of Lets, it’ll send a message to the other disruptors, give us the moral standing to be able to moderate appropriately, and it will also make it possible for Cheryl and Linda to drop this argument. The truth is that even if our CEO and COO weren’t fighting, we’d still better start moderating our forum or it’s going to get out of hand quickly. But when you consider that this would also help to end this stupid argument, it’s really a no-brainer. And any members who would choose to follow Lets out the door are probably better offf with him than here being “rabble-rousers”. I suspect that most of them would come back to us pretty quickly anyway. And it doesn’t really matter if we were to lose half our membership- our job is to run Sosen, not allow every malcontent to destroy us from within. This is simple- he needs to go, and so does anyone else who wants to come here to be disruptive. There really shouldn’t be any disagreement about this. If we need to have a formal vote on this, fine. But let’s “get ‘er done” and quit pussy-footing around the issue.

Can ya tell I’m sick of this? laughing7

billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

I’m very aware of it. I ran a music sharing hub with over 300 members and always about 70 people from all over the world connected at any time. Always had to look out for the Let’s and Tmax’s trying to take over. Unfortunately for them, the server was running on this computer.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

This is the PM exchange I had with Lets over his “Karma” thread. And here’s the thread- http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=4734.0

Keep in mind that Lets told me about his little “Karma war” about a week and a half ago. Which means this thread was intentionally misleading and disruptive. Am I out of line? Also notice that I didn’t delete anything- I simply locked the thread before Lets turned it into another one of his rants.

——————————————————————————–
Quote from: LetsGetReal on Today at 07:12:51 PM
Static, do you have a problem with me? If so, let me know. But for sure don’t pass my communications to you on to others without my permission to do so.

Lets

Lets- There has been a lot of things going on in the background that I wasn’t aware of. Now we basically have a crisis in Staff. I’m irritable and sick of arguments and distractions. I apologize for bringing up our phone conversation, but that thread is just silly. And it disrupts our members who didn’t really care about Karma points before. You can’t post a complaint about this forum being abused if you are abusing it too. Or at least not without expecting a response. You know as well as I do that this thing with Cheryl has gone too far. I’m not picking a side- other than being on the side of SOSEN. This thing between you and Cheryl has been a major disruption and I’m putting a stop to it. That’s my job- I don’t care who’s right or wrong or who started it, this has gotten out of hand and is hurting SOSEN. I’m not taking a side, but I am going to respond to needless arguments on this forum. You were dishonest about what you were doing with Karma points- and basically sayng that it’s a flaw with SOSEN. No it’s not. It’s a flaw with the people who choose to abuse the Karma system. Since you participated in it just as much as whoever smited you, you have no reason to blame it on SOSEN or our forum.


static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Ooohhh…. SNAP!

Just received this from Lets and Flowergirl. Odd how they seem to always respond at the same time, huh? I’m only posting this stuff so that my actions will be known by all. I’ve seen what Lets is capable of and it’s best to keep everything above-board when dealing with him.

Re: (No subject)
« Sent to: static on: Today at 07:50:56 PM »
——————————————————————————–
Thanks for the PM. Lets bashing isn’t going to solve a friggin thing. I want you to know that I have absolutely no personal animosity toward Cheryl. NONE.

What we spoke about on the phone was between you and me. I honored that and I expect you to also. Yes I did smite her but I put it back as karma. Yes others were smiting her and there is nothing I could do about that.

Our discussion concerning Cheryl was private and I related to you why I, Flower and Book38 resigned from staff. I would think that Cheryl’s outrageous behavior would cause you to think about what we talked about. It only confirms in my mind what I shared with you. THAT was to go no further.

You have not been in staff to know enough concerning what we went through with Shirley and other situations.

Cheryl did help build sosen into what it is today, SO DID I! I play a very significant role in getting sosen on it’s feet.and so did many others. Linda, Lee Lee, Flowergirl, Book38, etc. You came in after the dust settled.

When I came to the old sosen yahoo group there was only about 150 members. Sosen was several years old and going know where. Today, a year later there are 400 and growing.

I would like to see Cheryl back, doing what she does, not reacting to what she thought was going on.

It makes me wonder who was feeding her misinformation to make her go off like she did. I hope to God you were not running around telling tails out of school. Someone was feeding her bits and peices and for some reason she thought she had a whole picture.

That’s all I can figure was someone was being a lacky for her. She sure as hell didn’t get it from me. She has everything so twisted that it makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Again, I HAVE NO PERSONAL ANIMOSITY against Cheryl. She does have a control problem If that weren’t true than Flower surly wouldn’t have lefe and neither would have Book38.

Now, with that out of the way. I still want to meet you when you come to Tulsa. I do want the disk you promised. I’m hoping there is alot of information I can use.

I think we’re screwed now with the Ohio decision. I too am on sosen’s side and do not want to see any harm come to it. In fact, I’m looking forward to seeing sosen be the very best “SUPPORT” site ever. I am doing things that will assist in that and for sosen to also be the BEST EDUCATIONAL Network on the web. It is and it will be better.

I hope Cheryl does come back and presses ahead with issues that matters to all of us

I need a beer.

Rod

(No subject)
« Sent to: static on: Today at 07:53:55 PM »
——————————————————————————–
Don’t mean to be a busy body but all of that Karma and Lets stuff should have been handled in a PM … just my opinion but when I read it I felt like I was snooping in someone’s personal email. I’m telling Let’s the same thing … not taking sides! this is one of my pet peeves … I hate coming to a professional/private forum and reading harsh/personal exchanges.

Well, yes- it should’ve been handled in a PM, but Lets decided to post about it and subtly act like it’s a SOSEN problem when it’s really just a Lets problem. I really have a great deal of respect for Flowergirl, so I’m a little disappointed that she is participating in Lets’ games so much.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

*
Karma: 66
[applaud] [smite]
Posts: 943
DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS

Static You are new to forums. There are ways of handling things that just ESCALTE things or calms them. You my dear are ESCALATING things. The time spent verbal jousting with LEts could have been put on a letter to Cheryl that you said you would write in last nights staff meeting! Now because of that Cheryl is going to delete her membership at 9 pm

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

There is something in the works from a few RSO agencys that would make us more powerful as a whole. I just found this out today. Bear with me. I was asked to keep it private until it is a sure thing. I KNOW that SOSEN will want to be included in it.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Ooohhh…. SNAP!

Quote from: lindape54 on June 02, 2008, 09:23:44 PM

There is something in the works from a few RSO agencys that would make us more powerful as a whole. I just found this out today. Bear with me. I was asked to keep it private until it is a sure thing. I KNOW that SOSEN will want to be included in it.

Ok- first off, I didn’t escalate. I did my damned job as a moderator. And I reproted back to staff on my every action. Wow- what an out of control idiot I am! And whatever is “in the works” has not a thing to do with the problem Lets is. And btw- we already tried the RSO counsel thing- am I the only one who sees that joining forces with all the other groups is half of what causes our problems?

You asked me to become a staffmember. You asked me to join BOD. In fact, you were the one who brought me into this stupid fight betwen you and Cheryl. I’m neither a hot-head, nor a reactionary. But I saw it with Webstuff (and was right) and I see it with Lets (and I’m right about him too). I was told that a big part of my responsibilities here is to moderate the forum. So far, every time I do, it’s called “escalation”. No offense, Linda, but if I’m so out of control, that really reflects badly on your judgment, because you asked me to be here. “Your way” isn’t working. If you’re going to second-guess everything your moderators do, then there’s really no need to have moderators in the first place. I suppose Bill, Chris, Cheryl, me, and Gospelgal are all out of control wackos… Because we all see what you are turning a blind eye toward. At some point, you’re going to have to consider the fact that you are human and very well may be wrong. This isn’t an attack- I know how much this situation has taken its toll on you. But you don’t seem to recognize that you are basically tying our hands, then expecting us to build the house of SOSEN. It’s time to re-evaluate, Linda.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Why are we bothering with meetings? Static PERSONAL attacks do not belong on the forum. Fine you guys think you can run this place? I QUIT

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

I didn’t attack Lets at all. What I say about him here has no bearing on how I dealt with him on that thread. He started a thread that was not factual, argumentative, and silly. I responded appropriately with several good, truthful replies. When it became personal, I didn’t respond, I locked the thread. None of that is an attack- it is called moderating the forum.

Everyone here knows what Lets was doing with his stupid smiting games- I’ve told you about our phone conversation and his PM’s basically admit to it. So that thread was nothing but a lie and an insinuation that Sosen has somehow dropped the ball, when it was really Lets’ stupid smite war that caused the problem. I responded appropriately, and in fact exercised way more restraint than I should’ve. that is not in any way an attack. It was good moderation.