The ex coo said “I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I”

Friday, October 31, 2008

The ex coo said “I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I”

topwop
SOSEN Staff
Member

topwop@gallatinriver.net

THIS FIGHT ENDS TODAY
« on: June 03, 2008, 08:09:29 AM »

SOSEN COMES FIRST OUR MEMBERS COME FIRST THIS FIGHTING STOPS TODAY

Enough is enough.
Linda has NEVER issued Cheryl any ultimatum, neither have I or anyone else. We have all over and over again ASKED Cheryl to simply take some time, compose herself, and stop posting to this insanity.
Cheryl was told at a BOD meeting by Static, Linda, and I that her demands that Lets be publicly flogged was not going to happen, it is unprofessional and not going to happen, when you have a problem with someone you deal with it privately. That is the respect EVERYONE gets in this organization. She then demanded that his account be deleted or she was gone. AGAIN we told her that was not going to happen and WE compromised that we would talk to Lets “AGAIN”, but that was not enough for her so she quit and hung up.

I have stayed neutral on this and have been trying to play peace maker, but no more.

SOSEN COMES FIRST
Our ex coo has put herself, her feelings, her wants, her needs and her desires ahead of everyone and everything WE are trying to do. Reading back through her threads what stands out to me is I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,.

She “claims” Lets and Flower attacked HER? Where are these phantom posts?
I have seen nothing, nothing that I feel is inappropriate. But yet I have talked to lets on two occasions and have had full cooperation from him. Go to his member file and read his last posts……nothing. Cheryl does not like lets and lets does not like Cheryl.
The difference to me comes with the 30 smites she has given him these last several days. We as BOD and you as Staff do not get the luxury of picking sides but must deal with “FACTS”. We all talk about hype and hysteria, emotion vs facts, apply it!!

Fact: Cheryl deleted lets very appropriate posts, called them “garbage”
Fact :Cheryl has backed everyone in a corner with “it’s Let’s or me.
Fact: Every conversation WE have had with her gets twisted around.
Fact: She knowingly secretly recorded our BOD meeting, that’s “ILLEGAL”.
Fact: She refuses to take blame for any of her actions, instead points the blame on anyone and everyone that will not take HER side and stand with her.

No one need take sides against a fellow SOSEN member, something she demands.

We have all been dragged into the middle of this by one person only, as members we do not deserve or expect this, we are volenteers on another more important mission that we need to get back to working toward.

This fight stops today, Cheryl’s has taken her bat, ball, and glove and left on her own only because “WE” will not take sides and give in to her.

I have tried to stop this, so have many others.

Putting Lobster in the position to delete her because once again she knows Linda will not is unfair to him and to her. It only plays on pure emotion.

Give me the authority to do this and I will do what for right now is in SOSENS best interest. I as BOD will accept this unpopular duty. This is why I was elected to BOD by staff, to sometimes make unpopular decisions. SOSEN COMES FIRST!
Cheryl is and will always be welcomed to come back here, but under the terms we all accept not under her mandates and demands.

Cheryl, I will miss you, god bless and come back when you are ready.
topwop

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

AMEN!!!!

lobster1138
SOSEN Staff
Member

she already deleted her own account, the deletion is just waiting for admin approval… once she deleted it, she could not log on anymore…

i’ll go ahead and “approve” the deletion… don’t want to, but i’ll do it…

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

NO let it sit there!

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

too late! I STILL want Cheryl to come back. SHE NEEDS TO STOP FIGHTING WITH THE ANTI’S!! IT IS changing her. She was over there again last night. She needs a couple of days AWAY from the computer.

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

Cheryl needs the time to regroup. I hope/think she will be back. There is no way we can easily replace her.
Granted, anyone can be replaced. The key is how much pain it causes the organization. That is why I can fight with my boss, ask him what part of his butt he pulled his latest “idea” from and still have a job the next day.

MomOf2
SOSEN Staff
Member

I have had to take some time away from my computer myself. I HAVE a full-time job, and can’t do more than little bits at work. SOSEN is important, very important, but it’s beginning to make my significant other uncomfortable. I had to take some time just to keep peace at home because Cheryl was NOT acting professionally. Thanks for putting everything so clearly and concisely.
I HOPE (with the new rules for staff behavior posted on the sticky) that this will run a bit more calmly. We get enough from outside. We shouldn’t be doing it to ourselves.

Yours for grace and mercy,
Lois

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

I am on the same sinking ship. I work 50-60 hours per week. That iws why I am not around that much.

Sosen isn’t the Gestapo “Put up or shut up”

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Anyone else notice this?
« on: Today at 05:58:13 AM »
Reply with quote Modify message Remove message Split Topic

Ok- here we go again… And of course Lets is in it up to his eyebrows. Isn’t this the same Tmax who left in a tizzy the last time we disagreed with his and Lets’ “vision”?

http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=4716.msg24124#msg24124

Author Topic: Better Focus! (Read 29 times)
tmaximus95
Member

Let’s be Activists!

Better Focus!
« on: June 01, 2008, 05:37:53 PM »
________________________________________
I think SOSEN should focus on support and education issues, and become a real therapeutic type of site. It’s just my opinion, but SOSEN is all over the place, and doesn’t appear to focus on personal support. I think that’s where SOSEN’s niche should be. There’s a great number of caring people here, but no one’s getting anything material done. Things with substance that affects us all.

The bottom line is that I think that SOSEN should stay focused on support and education, and let other sites focus in their own areas. There’s so much fragmentation and disenfranchisement going on that it’s a wonder that we could ever get anything solid done about these laws.

Warm Regards.

TMax.

WillySO
SOSEN Staff
Member
________________________________________
Support and education are highly important. I share your views on that. Speaking only for myself, I will say that I get all I need of that from everyone. Being here has been a terrific family experience for me and done me worlds of good. May I suggest you be very specific about what it is you think we are not doing in this area?

What I find myself in disagreement with is your view (if I read you correctly) that the work we are doing to actively influence and change some of these laws is mis-directed. There are highly organized and determined groups out there working to further restrict and punish us for our crimes. To sit idly by and not take an active role in the politics of this issue seems like a big mistake for me.

I think we can, and do, do a great job of both support, education, and active political action. If we seem disorganized and scatered it might be because you don’t see everything that goes on behind the scenes. We are a diverse group with many, often contradictory, opinions. Somehow in spite of that most of us understand that the thing that unites us in this battle is much stronger then those things that sometimes put us at odds with each other.

As the lowest of the low on the publics list of dispised ex-criminals we are all very aware of this culture’s willingness (dare I say eagerness) to judge us as being unfit to live. I can’t speak for anyone else on this, but let me say that having gone thru what I have gone thru tends to make me less likely to judge others. Sure there are some folks here to love to shout and disagree. Sometimes they make unnessary trouble for others. But I am reluctant to judge them cause I am far from perfect myself.

We know that God and our mothers forgive us for what we have done, now the battle continues for the public at large and our legislators in particular. In my opinion support and education are important but far more important is the job of fighting these stupid laws.

If we just lay down and take it, we have given these victims rights groups just the outcome they wanted all along.

I guess I still have fight left in me. Depends on the day really. Today was a good day.

Willy

LetsGetReal

Re: Better Focus!
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2008, 08:47:26 PM »
________________________________________
Tmax, I know and understand what your saying. However, your post is too short and needs more information.
If I can interject something here. Yes. Sosen is primarily a support and education and hopefully always will be. Support is vital to the individual and family members. Education is also vital. Members tend to educate one another by posting, reading the news as well as scientific fact and empirical data. We comment on the forum, learn from one another on the board.

The forum is certainly a good place to be whether your a lurker or active.

I think what becomes frustrating to those who want to do more is the fact that sosen does not have enough workers who are diverse enough at taking sosen down several paths at one time.

It’s tough enough doing what sosen does with the amount of people that get involved. A handful end up working their butts off, while the majority stay disconnected from coming forward.

That’s always been the case as I comprehend it.

Now, I know where your coming from as I know what is going on. I’m excited about it.

Why not write a letter and submit it to staff. Explain what your allowed to reveal, as I know much is TOP SECRET. and it is in my opinion HUGE to the cause. There are several things happening as we speak.
This I can say, there are now 5 more state sites being built. and four specific sites each dealing with specific issues. And more will come.

I believe what Tmax is saying is that we need to understand one anothers function and purpose and be very supportive of one another. We need to do this by forming a coalition of CEO’s of various web sites and become united like never before.

Sosen is the very best Support and Education network in the world. We, can all in our own right be the best that there is. cfcoklahoma is just getting started as is 5 others. In time, TOGETHER, we will become the strong force that together brings down these unconstitutional laws.

I’ll shut up and wait for Tmax to put his thoughts down and send them to staff.
—————————————

http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=3475.msg24122#msg24122
Re: I’m a journalist deeply troubled by SO laws and treatments
« Reply #33 on: June 01, 2008, 05:30:46 PM »
________________________________________
I believe what’s needed is articles showing the positive aspects of former offenders who’ve been successful in the community. I also think the articles should focus on the injustices being perpetrated on kids because of this onslaught of hatred and contempt for the truth.

This battle against sex offenders was won through angry emotionalism, and it will be defeated in like kind. That goes against what most people believe, but for the nice folks that think that being soft when your rights are being stripped from you is the way to go, well please, stay away from me. For anyone that wants to become a REAL ACTIVIST, please contact me here, or through my email.
Anyway, it’s nice to see some journalists with some ethics and integrity on this forum. I wish there were more like you, I think?

TMax.

http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=4715.msg24121#msg24121

Topic: Hi All! I’m TMaximus95 (Read 33 times)
tmaximus95
Member

Hi All! I’m TMaximus95
« on: June 01, 2008, 05:21:00 PM »
________________________________________
I’ve been around for awhile, and have become an activist of sorts since the inception of these sex offender restrictions policies. I’m a leader, and a doer. I need to find a support home, where sex offender support and education is happening within the realms of sex offender recovery. I can be an emotional guy, but I’m too pissed off right now to be emotional

I believe that together, all of us, we can overcome the stupidity incorporated into these sex offender laws. We need to confront our representatives and point out the evil of their ways. We must be nice at first, but then, kick their butts if they don’t listen. I’m ready, are you?

I want to only be associated with activists that believe in material/real accomplishments. I don’t believe that posting gripes on an internet forum is where it’s at. I think the real battle is on the streets, with your neighbors and representatives. It’s better to make a friend through honesty, than it is to make an enemy over complacence.

Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help out with RSO Counseling, advice on relapse prevention, emotional support, and the education for those things. Are you freakin’ kidding me?!

You may want to visit my new site: http://www.rightsandlaw.net for strictly LEGAL topics on civil and human rights issues.Ah yes- the inevitable plug for your own site while downing Sosen. Why didn’t he just put it in his sig, like his buddy Lets did?

Warm Regards,

TMax.
________________________________________

Am I the only one who sees what’s going on in our forum? It was bad enough with Vanguard and F1 constantly insinuating that SOClear is where it’s at- Now I guess Tmax and Lets are in the mix. Personally, I’d be more than happy if they would all go over to SOClear with their claptrap. If we are so ineffective, why do they come here to promote themselves and their latest stupidity?

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: Anyone else notice this?
« Reply #1 on: Today at 06:07:16 AM »

We’d better figure out what we’re going to do with the SOClear radicals (this includes Lets)- I’m finding it more and more difficult to not use the old “flame thrower”. And once the flaming starts, it ain’t gonna be easy to douse the fire. angryfire

billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: Anyone else notice this?
« Reply #2 on: Today at 06:12:42 AM »

I see everything that goes on and it’s obvious that Lets is using SOSEN to push his own site.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Well, everyone does that. But what’s with all the SOClear people? This has been a quiet little problem for a while now. Lets is just aligning with them to further his own cause. But we’ve lately had a lot of SOClear promotion on the forum. And it’s usually coupled with criticism of Sosen. Ya gotta wonder- if we’re so ineffective and useless, why are they coming here instead of going to the marvelously effective SOClear? Tmax said he wants nothing to do with our brand of activism- so why’s he here? And isn’t it a bit odd how all of this smacks of coordination amongst these people? It would be an interesting exercise to look at who has been PMing more than normal (and with whom).

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member
Karma: 65
DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS

We need to just watch them. They are members and have valid points. This is a small close knit community.

I am not changing SOSENs focus. The “angry SO” is not how SOSEN goes about things.

I think everyone is at edge. We are not the gestopo here. Let folks talk if it is not hurting SOSEN.

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

My gut reaction is to have TMax, and those like him/her develop their own program and do it under the SOSEN umbrella. If T thinks we need more support, let T be the SOSEN counselor. That is, if T has the credentials, which I doubt.
It is the old, ” put up or shut up” gambit.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

No. uh-uh. Tmax shouldn’t be offered anything remotely like a leadership position- especially in our Therapy area.

I find it hard to believe that anyone here is unaware of what a few of our members are up to. Tmax’s posts, in particular, are divisive. This has nothing to do with the current controversy around here. I posted about this a while back in a thread titled “SOClear”. Thus far, there has been no action taken. We can sit and watch them some more- but I think we’ll be watching as they put the nail in the coffin of Sosen if we don’t start taking this seriously NOW. How much more “watching” do these people need before we decide to actually moderate the damn forum?

This thread is really just a repost of what I’ve already posted previously about SOClear- I’m doing the responsible thing by posting in Staff and trying to get some action. I’d be lying if I said that I’m not going to take care of this myself if all we can do as a group is drag our feet. Consensus is nice, but it doesn’t facilitate quick response. Margaret Thatcher said that consensus is the absense of leadership. We are the leaders of Sosen- we’d do well to lead ASAP.

There is much more going on in the background than we are admitting. There was a bit of a vacuum left when SoHopeful collapsed. We are the best ones to fill that vacuum. Unfortunately, SOClear is determined to do the same. The difference is that we aren’t sending our members over to SOClear to troll around for new recruits. They are doing this to us. And they are regularly downing Sosen in the process- and posting stuff which will be used against us. And Lets is right there with them, doing the same. Either we quickly come to terms with this, or I will.

No- we aren’t the Gestapo, but we are supposed to be moderating this forum. Otherwise, why do we even have a Staff? I’m doing the responsible thing and discussing this in Staff, instead of giving these idiots a verbal pounding. Meanwhile, they are still on our forum “doing what they do”. I won’t sit on my hands much longer.

So far, the only thing Staff has offered as a solution is to keep watching these idiots destroy us from within- are there any other suggestions? Because at some point, we are going to have to decide whether we are going to moderate this forum, or simply let the inmates run the asylum. At some point, we need to start actually running Sosen the way we see fit. I’m putting this out here so that we can reach a consensus about what to do. But doing something involves action. It’s time to clean house. Or we can “support” ourselves right into oblivion.

Cheryl’s not here- so who’s going to volunteer to be the “heavy” when we need it?

According to every person I’ve talked to, everyone is in agreement that if it came down to a decision between Lets and Cheryl, we’d all choose Cheryl hands down. But so far, Cheryl is the only one on moderation right now. I don’t really care who’s right and wrong- this is unfair. Everyone agrees that Lets started this- so why the hell isn’t he being muzzled like Cheryl is? We may not like Cheryl’s approach sometimes, but is there any doubt about what Lets is doing? And now because we’ve let him sit on our forum garnering his own version of “support”, we’ve got a whole group of people to deal with and Lets is making sure to be right in the thick of it. The situation as it currently stands is unacceptable. And frankly, we’d better do something about it very soon.

Here’s what I propose-

BOD agreed that Lets had only one more chance. He has used up his chances. He has been repeatedly warned by Linda for over a month now, and is obviously determined to continue his assinine behavior. Seeing how BOD agreed that this was his last chance and he was walking on thin ice- it’s time for Lets to go. Before anyone disagrees with me on this, I’d ask you to not only state your disagreement, but give good reason to keep him around- and also offer some other solution. If you can’t do this, then he needs to be shown the door.

Then we need to bring Cheryl back- no strings attached. She owes Linda an apology for some of the things she said, and Linda owes her an apology for punishing her while allowing Lets to do the same things. And that’s where this little controversy ends. Here’s what no one seems willing to say- Yeah, Cheryl posted about Lets in subtle ways in National. But he did it first. And Cheryl was the only one to be held accountable for doing this. To date, Lets has yet to be sanctioned in any way, and he continues to make Sosen all about him. Cheryl has shown no signs of being like Shirley- she just got pissed. The worst that would have happened is that she would’ve continued to argue and be pissed- that doesn’t deserve her being effectively banned from voicing her opinion. If we’re willing to say that Tmax, Lets, Vanguard, Fallenone, etc. have a right to voice their opinions when their opinions are so obviously antiSosen, why is it ok to muzzle Cheryl. What no one wants to admit is that when it comes to Lets, Cheryl was right. There’s no shame in admitting this and fixing the situation. Then, after we’ve dealt with the real threats to Sosen, we can all yell at Cheryl. It’s really dumb to deal with Cheryl as some sort of threat, yet let these idiots continue to actually BE threats. The truth is that if we didn’t have this current distraction, we’d be dealing with these important things. It’s time to hit the “reset button”, forgive and forget, and start taking care of SOSEN.

We can sit and argue about Cheryl all day long and get nowhere. Meanwhile we have members who are disrupting our forum and we are doing nothing but “watching”. If we’re all in agreement about Lets and his cronies, why are they still here? If we get rid of Lets, it’ll send a message to the other disruptors, give us the moral standing to be able to moderate appropriately, and it will also make it possible for Cheryl and Linda to drop this argument. The truth is that even if our CEO and COO weren’t fighting, we’d still better start moderating our forum or it’s going to get out of hand quickly. But when you consider that this would also help to end this stupid argument, it’s really a no-brainer. And any members who would choose to follow Lets out the door are probably better offf with him than here being “rabble-rousers”. I suspect that most of them would come back to us pretty quickly anyway. And it doesn’t really matter if we were to lose half our membership- our job is to run Sosen, not allow every malcontent to destroy us from within. This is simple- he needs to go, and so does anyone else who wants to come here to be disruptive. There really shouldn’t be any disagreement about this. If we need to have a formal vote on this, fine. But let’s “get ‘er done” and quit pussy-footing around the issue.

Can ya tell I’m sick of this? laughing7

billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

I’m very aware of it. I ran a music sharing hub with over 300 members and always about 70 people from all over the world connected at any time. Always had to look out for the Let’s and Tmax’s trying to take over. Unfortunately for them, the server was running on this computer.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

This is the PM exchange I had with Lets over his “Karma” thread. And here’s the thread- http://forum.sosen.us/index.php?topic=4734.0

Keep in mind that Lets told me about his little “Karma war” about a week and a half ago. Which means this thread was intentionally misleading and disruptive. Am I out of line? Also notice that I didn’t delete anything- I simply locked the thread before Lets turned it into another one of his rants.

——————————————————————————–
Quote from: LetsGetReal on Today at 07:12:51 PM
Static, do you have a problem with me? If so, let me know. But for sure don’t pass my communications to you on to others without my permission to do so.

Lets

Lets- There has been a lot of things going on in the background that I wasn’t aware of. Now we basically have a crisis in Staff. I’m irritable and sick of arguments and distractions. I apologize for bringing up our phone conversation, but that thread is just silly. And it disrupts our members who didn’t really care about Karma points before. You can’t post a complaint about this forum being abused if you are abusing it too. Or at least not without expecting a response. You know as well as I do that this thing with Cheryl has gone too far. I’m not picking a side- other than being on the side of SOSEN. This thing between you and Cheryl has been a major disruption and I’m putting a stop to it. That’s my job- I don’t care who’s right or wrong or who started it, this has gotten out of hand and is hurting SOSEN. I’m not taking a side, but I am going to respond to needless arguments on this forum. You were dishonest about what you were doing with Karma points- and basically sayng that it’s a flaw with SOSEN. No it’s not. It’s a flaw with the people who choose to abuse the Karma system. Since you participated in it just as much as whoever smited you, you have no reason to blame it on SOSEN or our forum.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member
Ooohhh…. SNAP!

Just received this from Lets and Flowergirl. Odd how they seem to always respond at the same time, huh? I’m only posting this stuff so that my actions will be known by all. I’ve seen what Lets is capable of and it’s best to keep everything above-board when dealing with him.

Re: (No subject)
« Sent to: static on: Today at 07:50:56 PM »
——————————————————————————–
Thanks for the PM. Lets bashing isn’t going to solve a friggin thing. I want you to know that I have absolutely no personal animosity toward Cheryl. NONE.

What we spoke about on the phone was between you and me. I honored that and I expect you to also. Yes I did smite her but I put it back as karma. Yes others were smiting her and there is nothing I could do about that.

Our discussion concerning Cheryl was private and I related to you why I, Flower and Book38 resigned from staff. I would think that Cheryl’s outrageous behavior would cause you to think about what we talked about. It only confirms in my mind what I shared with you. THAT was to go no further.

You have not been in staff to know enough concerning what we went through with Shirley and other situations.

Cheryl did help build sosen into what it is today, SO DID I! I play a very significant role in getting sosen on it’s feet.and so did many others. Linda, Lee Lee, Flowergirl, Book38, etc. You came in after the dust settled.

When I came to the old sosen yahoo group there was only about 150 members. Sosen was several years old and going know where. Today, a year later there are 400 and growing.

I would like to see Cheryl back, doing what she does, not reacting to what she thought was going on.

It makes me wonder who was feeding her misinformation to make her go off like she did. I hope to God you were not running around telling tails out of school. Someone was feeding her bits and peices and for some reason she thought she had a whole picture.

That’s all I can figure was someone was being a lacky for her. She sure as hell didn’t get it from me. She has everything so twisted that it makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Again, I HAVE NO PERSONAL ANIMOSITY against Cheryl. She does have a control problem If that weren’t true than Flower surly wouldn’t have lefe and neither would have Book38.

Now, with that out of the way. I still want to meet you when you come to Tulsa. I do want the disk you promised. I’m hoping there is alot of information I can use.

I think we’re screwed now with the Ohio decision. I too am on sosen’s side and do not want to see any harm come to it. In fact, I’m looking forward to seeing sosen be the very best “SUPPORT” site ever. I am doing things that will assist in that and for sosen to also be the BEST EDUCATIONAL Network on the web. It is and it will be better.

I hope Cheryl does come back and presses ahead with issues that matters to all of us

I need a beer.

Rod

(No subject)
« Sent to: static on: Today at 07:53:55 PM »
——————————————————————————–
Don’t mean to be a busy body but all of that Karma and Lets stuff should have been handled in a PM … just my opinion but when I read it I felt like I was snooping in someone’s personal email. I’m telling Let’s the same thing … not taking sides! this is one of my pet peeves … I hate coming to a professional/private forum and reading harsh/personal exchanges.

Well, yes- it should’ve been handled in a PM, but Lets decided to post about it and subtly act like it’s a SOSEN problem when it’s really just a Lets problem. I really have a great deal of respect for Flowergirl, so I’m a little disappointed that she is participating in Lets’ games so much.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member
*
Karma: 66
[applaud] [smite]
Posts: 943
DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS

Static You are new to forums. There are ways of handling things that just ESCALTE things or calms them. You my dear are ESCALATING things. The time spent verbal jousting with LEts could have been put on a letter to Cheryl that you said you would write in last nights staff meeting! Now because of that Cheryl is going to delete her membership at 9 pm

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

There is something in the works from a few RSO agencys that would make us more powerful as a whole. I just found this out today. Bear with me. I was asked to keep it private until it is a sure thing. I KNOW that SOSEN will want to be included in it.

static
SOSEN Staff
Member
Ooohhh…. SNAP!

Quote from: lindape54 on June 02, 2008, 09:23:44 PM

There is something in the works from a few RSO agencys that would make us more powerful as a whole. I just found this out today. Bear with me. I was asked to keep it private until it is a sure thing. I KNOW that SOSEN will want to be included in it.

Ok- first off, I didn’t escalate. I did my damned job as a moderator. And I reproted back to staff on my every action. Wow- what an out of control idiot I am! And whatever is “in the works” has not a thing to do with the problem Lets is. And btw- we already tried the RSO counsel thing- am I the only one who sees that joining forces with all the other groups is half of what causes our problems?

You asked me to become a staffmember. You asked me to join BOD. In fact, you were the one who brought me into this stupid fight betwen you and Cheryl. I’m neither a hot-head, nor a reactionary. But I saw it with Webstuff (and was right) and I see it with Lets (and I’m right about him too). I was told that a big part of my responsibilities here is to moderate the forum. So far, every time I do, it’s called “escalation”. No offense, Linda, but if I’m so out of control, that really reflects badly on your judgment, because you asked me to be here. “Your way” isn’t working. If you’re going to second-guess everything your moderators do, then there’s really no need to have moderators in the first place. I suppose Bill, Chris, Cheryl, me, and Gospelgal are all out of control wackos… Because we all see what you are turning a blind eye toward. At some point, you’re going to have to consider the fact that you are human and very well may be wrong. This isn’t an attack- I know how much this situation has taken its toll on you. But you don’t seem to recognize that you are basically tying our hands, then expecting us to build the house of SOSEN. It’s time to re-evaluate, Linda.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Why are we bothering with meetings? Static PERSONAL attacks do not belong on the forum. Fine you guys think you can run this place? I QUIT

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

I didn’t attack Lets at all. What I say about him here has no bearing on how I dealt with him on that thread. He started a thread that was not factual, argumentative, and silly. I responded appropriately with several good, truthful replies. When it became personal, I didn’t respond, I locked the thread. None of that is an attack- it is called moderating the forum.

Everyone here knows what Lets was doing with his stupid smiting games- I’ve told you about our phone conversation and his PM’s basically admit to it. So that thread was nothing but a lie and an insinuation that Sosen has somehow dropped the ball, when it was really Lets’ stupid smite war that caused the problem. I responded appropriately, and in fact exercised way more restraint than I should’ve. that is not in any way an attack. It was good moderation.

To the needy ingrates Cheryl says “screw em”!

How DARE I interrupt their whining and actually ask them to DO SOMETHING!

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

comments recieved
« on: January 09, 2008, 05:26:31 PM »

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We need to address how we can address folks that want to help but don’t want to be “on” a committee. I have had 4 different people make that comment.

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2008, 05:34:16 PM »

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They can help by being on a committee. Hahaha!

What kind of help do they want to do?
Write letters?
I’d ask them what THEY had in mind. How do they want to help out??? They need to express what it is they want to do specifically. Want to help? but don’t want to be on a committee? DUH!

Committees will be doing specific things. If what they want to do is being done by a committee than they really need to get involved with a committee where they can be more effective. I think!

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TimF

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2008, 05:35:46 PM »

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My question would be “How do they want to help?”
Of course, ANY member can make supportive or newsy posts here. ANY member can make replies at news articles that allow comments. ANY member can click that “Donate” button at our Website.
But if they are volunteering to actually HELP, it seems that we created 10 committees to help distribute the load and better organize ourselves in 2008. Are they suggesting that we are missing a needed committee that we hadn’t envisioned?

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2008, 05:46:39 PM »

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I am after people that want to do one thing or a hundred things. How will the committees interact with the general membership? We need workers bees! We have to remembers that we are support group AND an advocate group. Some are just entering into this “nightmare”

Linda
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TimF

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2008, 05:55:52 PM »

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I guess that I see the COMMITTEES as the hive for the worker bees.
If they volunteer for any one committee, they gain the “privilege” of seeing ALL committee work.
This is the [previously unchartered territory] of a stepping stone towards become a member of staff.

While the various committees may overlap and interact, setting up these 10 committees creates separate work hives that allow for focus without getting overwhelmed with the dozens of other actions of other committees (muchless staff).
Focus becomes a tool for both ‘organization’ AND completion of tasks.

As committees progress on task(s), reporting/monitoring is done by staff (especially either our CEO or COO).

As project milestones are reached, staff REPORTS results to our general membership through a number of methods — a newsletterish post in the “News and Announcements” section and/or the actual fruits of the accomplishment (eg.: a boilerplate document for legislators in the Media area; a finished video at our YouTube account; a Written Word op/ed at our Website from the Writers Committee; etc.)

gratefulhoo
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2008, 06:18:46 PM »

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I really don’t like the “required committee” concept. I, also, have gotten emails from people who want to help as they can but don’t want to feel compelled to be on a committee. I would prefer that they be “interest areas”. I put my name on a bunch of “committees”, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to work full time in all of them. Those are my areas of interest and ability.

I think it puts a lot of pressure on people when they hear the word “committee” and may be reluctant to commit to what they perceive as being too much work. If we presented these more as “areas of interest” in which we need pools of interested people to draw from, we may possibly get more people.

Unfortunately, right now I don’t see much in the way of anybody doing anything. There are very few people posting with any regularity.
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equal justice
COO, Media Director
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2008, 06:30:14 PM »

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I gotta say Linda that really ticks me off. Oh yea, they want the laws changed, they want their lives better, they want to stay informed about what is going on…but they don’t want to do anything to help, or very little. THey don’t want to “commit”

I gotta say, when people continue to behave like this it really makes me want to say screw em!

Yes we are a support group, and thats a very important function, but support is a TWO WAY STREET! Management could use a little support here. This group of “needy” people RARLY say “good job” or “Thank you” much less step up to the plate and work. I gotta say also, that these are ADULTS. There comes a time when they need to STOP acting and expecting to be treated like babies. I can see it if they are new to the situation, but out of 200 members we should be able to get 20 people who can step up to the plate. I would be happy with 20 measley people out of 200. In my opinion these people need to stop whining and start working. Now, before you make excuses for them, I am not saying everyone! I am just asking for 20 out of 200.

I think I just wasted a whole hell of a lot of my time and energy and some of Tim’s time and energy thinking about, planning and making these committees a reality. I honestly thought these people who said ” I want to help” “Tell me what to do”, “I want to make a difference” were telling the truth and were going to step up. Silly me

What I really need to do is to start just working on Fl. I need to start a major advocacy for FCCC and take care of my son instead of these ingrates who want to sit in their chairs and cry “woa is me” and do nothing else. I need to start taking care of ME and MINE and let the rest of em go to hell!
I have told the members over and over and over and over and over again that we are NOT asking for a time minimum or expecting anything from them that they can not give. And NOBODY said ANYTHING about a “required committee” don’t want to do it? fine, but how about 20 people with some spine! Pressure be damned. THey don’t give a stinking SHIT about how much pressure WE are under, but just let them not like a word said to them or the color of the background of the fourm and they jump all over us.

This is nothing new…it has always been like this…just a few people doing the work, BUT I did expect the people who came here and SAID they wanted to work to be truthful.
I am so upset that I am crying. I was so hopeful. I was realistic. I was NOT expecting even 50 or 100 people to step up. BUT 20!

I think I need to stay the hell away from this place for a while. See ya

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lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2008, 06:42:00 PM »

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All I asked was, How are the comittees going to interact with the general membership.

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2008, 07:00:44 PM »

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At this minute there are 7 staff members online and 2 regular members. total for the day 17. I know there were a couple of new people who came and visited. So, all in all, regular members aren’t visiting in droves, much less volunteering for anything.

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lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2008, 07:06:57 PM »

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We’ve had 50 members visit today

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2008, 07:11:27 PM »

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Where do you find that info. At the bottom of the Forum Index, it shows who is on like and How many different people visited. If we had 50, then what is this about. Why does it say 17 for today. I’m confused.

Users Online 0 Guests, 12 Users
Users active in past 15 minutes:
letsgetreal50, lindape54, TimF, coolrich001, klpsupermom, Billm, Funkerwinkle, topwop, gratefulhoo, lead_brick_head, aljones, equal justice
Most Online Today: 17. Most Online Ever: 18 (January 07, 2008, 01:13:24 PM)

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lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2008, 07:19:49 PM »

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Most Online Today: 17. that means at one time today we had 17 people all on at the same time

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coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2008, 07:45:15 PM »

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Back to the original after I make this comment.
Only 10% of any group do 90% of the work. Also, 20% of the group do and will cause 80% of the problems. Those is the facts, Jack!

Now, in another post, I stated that complaints/requests from those who participate will be taken much more seriously. I also said that requests should be put in a polite way. So, when a member asks for something, we should respond in a manner that indicates their participation.

For example, an answer to a request like this, “Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Since you have done this that and the other thing this year for the group, we will make your request a priority. Once more, thanks.”

Other side would be, “We are a volunteer group. Member participation is much needed. We will put your request/concern on our “To Do” list. The more that volunteer, the quicker things get done.”

If members start seeing more and more responses like this, they will get the idea. The workers get the honey!

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2008, 08:07:26 PM »

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Well shoot, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Now, where do you see, how many were online today totally. I can’t find it.

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gratefulhoo
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #14 on: January 09, 2008, 08:10:13 PM »

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We have absolutely NO RIGHT to think we understand what other people’s lives are like and assume that every person here can and should COMMIT to something. A reluctance to promise to do something over the long haul does not mean that people aren’t interested in helping and doing what they can. We can’t force people to work. It is really harsh to come at this with the attitude of work or hit the road.

As I stated before, I just wonder if we set this up more as just areas of interest, more people may put their names in those areas. Many of us are overwhelmed with our own personal lives. That doesn’t mean that we don’t do everything we can whenever we can. if that’s not okay, then there is a problem. The Type A’s here are going to have to chill while those of us who work best on our own do so.

We can all use direction and suggestions about how to work better and be more effective. Right now, I think this group is too small to overstructure and overstress everybody. I found the posts in National and other groups to be very demanding, and I immediately felt “bossed” and so did some others. My suggestion would be to emphasize the need but not push it so hard.

I have managed volunteers before. I was the Director of Big Brothers Big Sisters, the PTO president for some time, and have served on multiple volunteer boards. Getting volunteers to work is HARD. It’s much easier to get help for a limited project than for the long haul. Soliciting volunteers from a pool of generally interested people works well. Telling people that they must sign up for committees is not successful in my experience.

Can we just consider coming at it from just a little different philosophy?

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lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2008, 08:40:35 PM »

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The workers bees need their hives. These are the work areas/committee/interest area. What ever we want to call it. Then we have the self starters who accomplish tasks on their own. Al comes to mind with his data base. We could have him add the contact data bases in the proper spots on the forum. Everyone does need a home base, though. Flowergirl is another one that comes to mind. All the worker bees might surprize us. I hope so.

All the worker bees can see what the other bees are working on. We can post to the membership any call to action, projects implimented and completed, etc

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #16 on: January 09, 2008, 08:47:59 PM »

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OK. Tim called and explained how I can tell how many were on line today, yesterday, etc.

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lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #17 on: January 09, 2008, 08:50:07 PM »

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Sorry Rod I didn’t see your post. My bad

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equal justice
COO, Media Director
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #18 on: January 09, 2008, 10:22:20 PM »

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Quote from: gratefulhoo on January 09, 2008, 08:10:13 PM
Can we just consider coming at it from just a little different philosophy?

We have attempted to come at it from SEVERAL other philosophy’s with NO success.
I feel like I am speaking a foreign language here that you are not understanding. I have NEVER assumed anything about anyone..and I NEVER expected, demanded, or even HOPED that “EVERY PERSON HERE” could or WOULD COMMIT to joining a committee. I distinctly remember posting RIGHT HERE that I had hoped for 20 out of 200. That is such a FAR CRY from EVERYONE! Again, this is a pretty small “commitment” that I am asking some people for. You are making it sound like they are having to sign a contract and are being asked to work a certain # of hours a day OR ELSE! What utter bull hockey that is. AND YES, I DO have a right to ASK!

I have worked my butt off for these people, I have sat day in and day out at this computer, on the phone, writing and working for THESE PEOPLE. I have made myself SICK physically and emotionally, trying to save SOSEN and make it a worthwhile place for these members. I have opened myself up to public ridicule from other rso groups and from the AZ people. I have neglected focusing on FCCC and Florida to work for the bigger picture. SO YES I HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK A FEW PEOPLE TO STEP UP AND MAKE A SMALL COMMITMENT THAT THEY CAN CHANGE AT ANY SECOND> DEAR GOD! GET REAL! WE are NOT asking these people for much.
OH they WANT much from us…they EXPECT much from us. BUT ALL WE ARE ASKING FOR IS A SMALL AMOUNT>

I do not know what your problem with me is Lee-Lee. I tried to be a friend and reach out to you as a mother who knows some of what you are going thru and you threw it back in my face and accused me of trying to censure me…and did not bother to respond when I explained that that was not what I was trying to do at all. Why the HELL are you lashing out at ME?

You don’t even know me a little bit. TYPE A personality? I am about the farthest thing you can get from a type A personality. I should “chill” ok fine…but if I had “chilled” before, we would STILL be working for Shirley and be at Yahoo…if there WAS a yahoo since our National forum disappeared and our regional forums were disappearing before our very eyes. If I had “chilled” you would not be here, because you QUIT! and would not work with Shirley.

When you were busy at Christmas did any of us, me included bother you or did we say fine, do what you need to do, we will see you when you have the time again?! AND wish you luck in your business??? Have we EVER harassed ANYONE beyond what they were able to commit to? ABSOLUTLY NOT! The problem with just letting everyone do whatever they want to do on their own when they want to do it is that they don’t do much of ANYTHING! Like I said, we BEGGED for some help last year and got NOTHING.

Does it not make sense to have a group of like minded, talented individuals working as a team on a project??? That would make it easier for everyone. Would any business tell its employees to just come in when they felt like it and do whatever they felt like doing when ever they felt like it? ABSOLUTLY NOT…because NOTHING WOULD GET DONE!!!!! I was simply excited at the PROSPECT of actually getting some worthwhile projects done to REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE in a million and a half peoples lives.

NONE of this would have affected MY and MY sons situation. I am NOT doing this for ME!
BUT NO, I am the big bad meanie for ASKING people to step up to the plate…a FEW DAMED PEOPLE! WOW how DARE I be so BOLD as to suggest we get organized and try to accomplish change. HOW dare I interrupt the whining and crying, and whoa is me ing
and the asking others to help them, by asking them to do something. I guess I have got a lot of nerve.

Yea, I have the PASSION to want to make a difference. I have the VISION to see that this is a critical time. I have the BALLS to ask others to get involved and (gasp) committed just a little.
I am the COO of this organization. IT is my job to organize, to see to the day to day running of SOSEN, to see that the VISION and MISSION of SOSEN is carried out and the GOALS met. THAT in itself makes me the bad guy. Linda is the one who holds hands and pats backs and says there there now. I have done my share of helping people too. I just don’t make it public.

Man, I am tired. I am tired of working my butt off for people who don’t give a shit who or how I am. Who don’t care to work to help themselves. I am tired of catching shit for doing what needs to be done. For striving to get things accomplished.

Thanks Lee-Lee, you have helped me a lot. Why the hell should I care HUH? IF no one else does, why the hell should I care.

I am gonna take care of ME and MINE and the rest be damned! I will just slide by just like everyone else does.

I will work ONLY WHEN I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT AND ONLY AT WHAT I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE WORKING AT! What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Oh and thanks so much for the suport and encouragement. Perhaps if YOU had been around and reading posts, and involved in what was going on, had attended a single staff meeting, you would have been involved in this project and could have voiced your opinion BEFORE I spent the amount of time and energy I did on it.

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gratefulhoo
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #19 on: January 09, 2008, 11:29:31 PM »

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Cheryl, I expressed an opinion because I was concerned that the posts in the forums seems a little heavy-handed and may be off-putting to some people. I had received a couple emails about it as well as sensing it from some posts that I read. I was not criticizing you or attacking you as you just did me in this thread and in your PM. I simply felt that from my experience, the tone of a couple of posts may be too heavy for some people and may scare them off.

If you noticed (but you seem too wound up to read), I supported the concept in the forum in several posts in terms of trying to get people to volunteer and in offering to edit for Rich. I didn’t publicly say I thought this was too much right now.

I did not respond to your recent email because I started a response and then got flooded with all this VA legislation. I have been working on that almost non-stop for the past several days in addition to being sick, having a sick child at home, running my business, and running my other daughter all over town among other life matters. I apologize for not responding immediately. I certainly didn’t think you would take it as a personal afront.

The time I took for Christmas was explained in advance. I make almost my entire yearly income from October through December. I don’t sleep many nights. That is a situation that can’t be helped. I am of no use during that time.

Yes, I did leave Staff before. This was MOSTLY because of Shirley but was also because of the constant bickering in Staff. I don’t have time or energy for that. It is not some kind of GIFT to me to be back. I came back at Linda’s request and after I had explained the constraints on my time. If you don’t want me here, I am happy to leave. You act like I should be so happy to be granted access to the club! I’m not doing this because it is fun or there are some accolades or perks involved! I am here to learn and work. Period. I would suggest that it will be difficult to stabilize the group if it is restructured on a weekly basis because staff can’t function together.

I have not attended meetings because I VISIT MY SON on weekends. Screw it if people don’t understand that every weekend I visit my son one day and spend time with my husband and young children the other day. That is non-negotiable, and I couldn’t care less what anybody thinks about that.

I have not at any point “lashed out” at you Cheryl. You seem very stressed as are we all. Your public attack on me was unwarranted.

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equal justice
COO, Media Director
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2008, 12:08:54 AM »

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And Lee- Lee I expressed my opinion right back attcha! You were not criticizing me or attacking me? How about

We have absolutely NO RIGHT to think we understand what other people’s lives are like and assume that every person here can and should COMMIT to something.

How about

It is really harsh to come at this with the attitude of work or hit the road.

that was NEVER SAID! or even IMPLIED

Or how about:

The Type A’s here are going to have to chill while those of us who work best on our own do so.

THAT was a really pissy statement…and untrue to boot!

overstructure and overstress everybody.

OVERSTRUCTURE? We have never HAD ANY structure. That was part of the problem. OVER STRESS? These laws that have and are coming down the pike are “stress” asking a few people to simply join a committee and maybe do some work as they are able, should NOT be stress.

I found the posts in National and other groups to be very demanding, and I immediately felt “bossed” and so did some others

My posts were increasingly desperate. They gave concrete examples of WHY we needed to do this. One long standing problem is if you ask our members to do something, then actually REACT when no one does anything, oh yea they get very offended. How DARE I interrupt their whining and actually ask them to DO SOMETHING!

It’s much easier to get help for a limited project than for the long haul.

again ask Linda how many of the projects she asked and asked for help on last year ever got done? How many volunteered?
I am/was simply trying a more organized different approach.

If coming up with a way to be a bit organized and to try to get our members involved, again I am talking about around 20 out of 200, NOT YOUR every one, is so very bad then that is extremely sad.
I agree with you totally about the arguing in staff. It is ridiculous. All we need to do is to support one another, and not attack those trying to get something done.

You KNOW my problem was more that you were VERY nasty to me in response to my reaching out to you in kindness in an email than it was to your not responding to my second email trying to reach out again and explain that I was only trying to be supportive. WE all know you are going thru a bad time now, but I did not create your problems and am NOT the one to take it out on.

As I said before, I am taking some time away from the forum. I am just too upset right now to be here posting, it is not a good idea. My being upset is spilling out into some posts in the Forum and I do not want that to happen. I need to take care of Cheryl for a change. Forgive me for trying to accomplish something here.
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static
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2008, 12:32:04 AM »

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Ok- well if everyone gets mad at me, so be it. But everyone needs to take their personal differences to PM. And, when dealing with personal disagreements, we should ALL remember that we’re on the same side!!! How much bandwidth are we going to use up trying to win these silly arguments? Sounds like we ALL need a day off- so lets ALL take one! I hardly think the forum is going to fall apart without us for a day…

I know there is history here that I wasn’t part of (thank God!) but what’s happening right now is growing pains. It is a necessary part of the process!!! We can NOT let it become personal.

Let me give you all an outsider’s view– Every single member of staff has their strengths and weaknesses, but EVERY ONE OF YOU are good people doing a largely thankless job. We all volunteered for it, folks! So quit griping. Since it’s a volunteer job, every one of us can do as little or as much as we want. And if we must fight each other, do it privately with the intention of working it out quickly. We have to remember the greater purpose here… I’m not taking sides, just offering some advice. If I’ve made anyone angry, feel free to respond BUT DO IT PRIVATELY so SOSEN doesn’t get bogged down with petty disputes.

P.S. These growing pains are a good sign, BTW- in case you didn’t know…

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topwop
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2008, 01:10:37 AM »

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Well I had a long letter to post but for some reason it did not post so your getting the short version.

Words like “committee”, “change”, and “commitment” scare off volunteers. Volunteers will do what they “WANT” and feel comfortable with. We are scaring off good members.

IMO!!!!

We do a top shelve job in the support and education department. We need to take this fight to our members instead of waiting for them to come to us and possibly have them miss the one thread that would spur them into jumping in.

We need to get our name out there in the public eye, we need to get credibility.

Information is power. We need to set up a weekly newsletter to send “out” to them. We could ask for input on one or two subjects, digest opinions and finalize things at our weekly meeting. We also could send out template letters for them to simply add their name to and mail. This newsletter could also be copied by our members as a flier to go to prospective members, increasing valuable membership.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease and we have little grease in the gun. We could put our pay pal account button on the letter.

We have 223 members as of now. If everyone donated $10.00 a month that would be $120.00 a year and $26,760.00 for us to do “their” work with.

Lee Lee has a great article that needs to be in print, we had a press release for Britney Spears pregnant sister. Both sit because we do not have the funds. Paper, ink, envelopes, stamps, future rallies, videos, where’s the grease?

Tim tells me we are already set up to do just this. We have writers and we could take turns with the newsletter.

WE “NEED” TO GO TO THEM!!!

Am I nuts?!

topwop

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2008, 09:07:10 AM »

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Static, your now an insider and words never rang truer when you said,

“Let me give you all an outsider’s view– Every single member of staff has their strengths and weaknesses, but EVERY ONE OF YOU are good people doing a largely thankless job. We all volunteered for it, folks! So quit griping. Since it’s a volunteer job, every one of us can do as little or as much as we want. And if we must fight each other, do it privately with the intention of working it out quickly. We have to remember the greater purpose here… I’m not taking sides, just offering some advice. If I’ve made anyone angry, feel free to respond BUT DO IT PRIVATELY so SOSEN doesn’t get bogged down with petty disputes.”

Static is right, we need some time away from everything to refresh ourselves.
Our problems are really not with each other, but frustration with the lack of membership getting involved. We ’see’ and visualize the importance of these committees. We know, at least in our minds eyes that these committees can and will speed up the process of sosen being a force that will do great things.

It would be ideal if we had 200 eager members, even 20, just biting at the bit to join a committee to do SOMETHING. But that’s not the case. I believe that is where the real frustration comes in at.

We’ve been through worse than this and have come out stronger for it.

When I had my contracting business in California, I had to go through at least 40 people to find that one. But when I found that one, what a difference it made. In fact, I showed my appreciation by giving raises and bonuses.

I thank God for every committed member of Staff and National. You are the glue that holds this organization together. You are the worker bees whether you like it or not. You are the few. We can only work with what we have and go from there. Perhaps we just need to start from there and hope and pray that we can attract individuals like Static, and a few other new people who are personally committed to this fight.

There are way too many RFSO and Family who are not in this fight at all. And that is frustrating to say the least. We need talent and money. Perhaps a few more NPR programs are in order. We do need to find talent who is willing to work for free. Not much incentive there.

So, consider taking a break. Get refreshed in mind and spirit. The year has just begun.

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equal justice
COO, Media Director
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #24 on: January 10, 2008, 01:39:11 PM »

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TOP,
That is my point exactly. WE NEED FOCUS GROUPS> things just keep getting lost, passed over, not focused on, missed, and whatever else. This is an AGE OLD PROBLEM it is not new. IT SEEMS TO BE INHERENT IN RSO GROUPS> ALL I was trying to do was get organized, for God’s sake so this would STOP happening. If what I have asked for in MEMBERSHIP will “scare off members” then we are in very sad shape and need to simply focus SOSEN on being a simple support group.
These people need to grow up and start acting like adults. Yea, some of them are fresh in the RSO process and need some hand holding and support….many are not and have just been whining for years, and the most work they are doing is coming up with excuses NOT to work. I have said NOTHING SCARY! I have not asked anyone to sign a contract saying they would be required to do thus and so or else dire consequences would occur.

WE have OVER 200 members and TWO have stepped up…that are from general membership.
SO, fine, we can just continue as we have all along and the stuff can STAY not getting accomplished. NO skin off my back.

I am real tired of being the bad guy around here, I’m done.

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letsgetreal50
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2008, 01:49:42 PM »

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Cheryl, you are certainly NOT the bad guy around here! You are one of the few who actually gets things done. If sosen turns into nothing but a support group for the emotional handicapped then I’m out of here.

I know that won’t happen. Support is important but at some place in their lives, they need to learn to quit being an eternal child and grow up.

We, have work to do. Nothing gets done without someone doing it. Things just don’t happen in a vacuum! You are one of the shakers and movers that is propelling sosen into the future. Please don’t ever forget that. We are moving in different directions at one time. Support and fight on every front. We are going to make big advances in 08. WE WILL!

Lets

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TimF

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2008, 01:55:32 PM »

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Quote from: topwop on January 10, 2008, 01:10:37 AM

Words like “committee”, “change”, and “commitment” scare off volunteers. Volunteers will do what they “WANT” and feel comfortable with. We are scaring off good members.
…
Information is power. We need to set up a weekly newsletter to send “out” to them. We could ask for input on one or two subjects, digest opinions and finalize things at our weekly meeting. We also could send out template letters for them to simply add their name to and mail. This newsletter could also be copied by our members as a flier to go to prospective members, increasing valuable membership.

The 90% that are ’scared’ by the words like committee, change, and commitment are the 90% we don’t want or need to have access to our committees which are the WORKING groups that our organization NEEDS in place.

The 10% that already DO WORK (and are NOT on staff) should NOT be scared of these words — as there is no minimum committment of time involved.

The very suggestion of a newsletter, templates, fliers, etc. have been ‘projects’ that staff has talked about for a YEAR now. These are the very reasons WHY we need committees that allow a larger group than just the roughly 15 of us on staff to help spread the load.

Volunteering for a committee — ANY committee — should be seen as a PRIVILEGE! It will allow that particular member to be more apprised of ALL committee work. It will allow them to feel that they are ‘giving back freely what was given to them’ and feel that trust and respect implicitly. This IS a STEPPING STONE for our regular members to be MORE active and apprised of the internal workings of SOSEN — without giving them FULL ACCESS to all the sosenSTAFF discussions, planning, arguments, and distractions.

I dislike the infighting (and I’ve certainly been a part of that in the past — so I’m not innocent of this problem). But I was MORE put off by the original question of addressing HOW we deal with people that want to help but NOT be on a committee. It just seemed like a no-brainer — they EITHER want to help or they don’t. An offer of helping us gives THEM additional access and privilege — simple as that — and take it or leave it.

Of course, STAFF benefits too. We have MORE brainpower. We have a place to do work that the membership (lurkers and especially miscreants) cannot see UNTIL a task reaches a milestone. We can put the dozens of projects staff likes into a committee and allow the task to unfold (in its own time) by those specifically interested in that project.

Win-win. I like this. Let’s not be put off by those few that are scared of work — as they will NOT LEAVE the main group for this. They are just NOT the ones we want to have working on our committees and projects.

coolrich001
SOSEN Staff
Member

Re: comments recieved
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2008, 03:28:15 PM »

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And, when the “do nothings” want something done, their request will be waaaaay behind the “do somethings”.