Walking into Stitches hands

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

We had our board meeting
« on: Today at 07:39:31 PM »

We had our board meeting. It was agreed that Lets has been harassing me and pm ing and emailing people as a “war on Cheryl” and has said he has told them HIS story and “everyone” is on Let’s side.
It was agreed that Lets has been told and emailed and Pm’d over and over again in the last month and he adamantly refuses to stop.
I compromised in what I would accept several times in the meeting.
It was discussed that we need a policy.
I pointed out that we DO have a policy and have had a policy and read the policy to the board.
The policy is clear!
EVEN OUR BYLAWS ARE CLEAR! But everytime I said I wanted something, I was shot down.
Oh we should tell Lets as of today that he has to follow the policy. Yea sure, like anything else has worked with lets and HE DARN WELL KNOWS THE POLICY AND WHERE IT IS> He was in staff and discussed the policy multiple times.
SO it all kept comming down to letting Lets continue what he is doing even tho he has been told for over a month to STOP IT>
When I read the policy and that too was shot down in Lets favor I just said ok you can have lets…I quit..
The choice for me was that I either let lets continue what he has publicly declaired he is going to keep doing and just deal with it, or I go. I think I have made it quite clear for the last 3 days that I have had enough of being abused and maligned on my own forum.
The 3 other members of the BOD that were there, LINDA
OH and Linda says I am very bitchy and mean to people on the forum….that she cringes when she reads my posts…sure would have been nice to know THAT before this…she always told me I was great and that she and I were interchangable.
Things sure did run well in the 3 weeks to a month she was gone when she was sick and then moved…I didn’t RUIN SOSEN then.
Linda has finally spoken up about how she feels about me as a COO and that is NOT GOOD!
OK I AM GONE>

Lets and stitches win.

Stitches knew this was going on. She posted in SOA about a coup taking place at sosen and said I would be gone. Probably she was one of our members that Let s pm’d , of course not knowing she was stitches. Way to walk right into AZ’s hands

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

That is NOT what happened. Ask Static and Topwop. Cheryl is mad because I will not PUBLICLY yell at Lets in the forum. My COO needs to lead by example.

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

Hmmm I have a tape of it Linda, and that is just what happened.
You all decided that we could not tell Lets on the fourm to stop
I compromised to just making a general statement that members were not allowed to send subversive PM’s emails or telephone calles against others.
That was OK for just a hot minute and then that got talked down.
So I said that Billm, Lobster and Static and me have weighed in and said that lets should go… that was unexceptable.
It was all about…Lets tell Lets that he has to stop this, in a pm.
We have been doing that for over a month and it STILL is not working.
you guys talked about needing a policy.
I said we have a policy and I read some of the pertenent parts.
Well, suddenly having a policy that is posted promently in FIRST STOP SOSEN POLICY was not good enough either.
We need to post that policy in National and give lets another chance.
Everyone who knows Lets KNOWS DARN WELL HE HAS READ THE POLICY AND HAS USED THE POLICY IN THE PAST>
After a hour and 45 minutes of being told that everything I suggested was not acceptable and that Lets was going to stay even tho he has been trying to get me kicked out of SOSEN for a month and even Stitches of AZ knew about it Lets stays and Cheryl GOES.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
AS I said I have a tape of the meeting if you think I am not telling the truth.
There was a lot more in that hour and a half.
Like me reading the post Linda says I was personally attacking Lets and Lets was not mentioned in it at all. NOT AT ALL> All I did was make a general statement that subversive pming and emailing should be reported to staff. NO MENTION OF LETS WHATSOEVER…if he took it personally it was because he knows he is guilty of it.

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

SO now you deleted my good by post to the members I have worked with and slaved over for just as long as you have?
That is SO wrong!

this was all it said

It has been my privilege to work for, and with all of you. SOSEN has grown so much in the last year it is incredible. It has become a force to be reckoned with. I have been fighting this battle for 4 years now and I have learned and grown so much in that time. I have accomplished things I could never have done were it not for the grace of God equipping the called, and of course for every one of you.
I think the hardest and most painful battles I have fought were ones that occurred within SOSEN.
I can take what ever the Anti’s throw at me, but I am vulnerable to those I have trusted and called friend.
I have also never been one for self aggrandizement. What I have done, I have attributed to SOSEN. We are a TEAM! SO I will not make this into an “ALL THAT I HAVE DONE FOR SOSEN” speech.
I simply wanted to tell you all that you have been my family and I Love you. Every moment of this battle, every stress and pain has been worth it and more, each time I read an article that tells at least some of the truth, every time someone says “thank God I found SOSEN” every time a reporter or legislator changes his mind on these horrible laws. And especially when someone gets back on their feet or wins their freedom from the lifetime of abuse the Scarlet Letter of Sex Offender has placed on them.
I will NOT be starting a new group or forum. The RSO support and education community does not need another forum. It needs everyone to stand TOGETHER, in NUMBERS too big to ignore! I will, however continue my advocacy. I will continue to fight with every breath I have in me. I will just be doing it on my own now. I would love for you all to know exactly why this has happened, but I cannot do that on the forum. I am sure you will hear much rumor and one sided bologna, but I can only trust those who know me to know that it would take something really big to make me leave SOSEN. Believe me, if there had not been a war waged against me, and it be allowed to continue, I would not be going anywhere. SOSEN has been my life. I will now make a new life. I thought I could remain at SOSEN as just a member, but with the vitriol going on behind the scenes, that chance is looking slimmer and slimmer.
You all take care of yourselves now! Many of you have my email address and for those who do not have my phone number and may want to call contact Billm and he will know who it is safe to give my number to. I don’t have to tell you to stay strong and keep fighting the good fight, because I already know you will.
God Bless you all. I will miss you.

Stitches, you were right, there was a coup going on against me. I laughed at you when you said that, but I guess the last laugh is on me. The thing is, you may have taken MY voice out of sosen, but there are MANY MORE voices there! Mine is not the only voice. In the grand scheme of things, this is only a very, very small victory for you. SOSEN will remain strong and will remain a very large thorn in your side. I DO get the last laugh on that one.

What the hell do you find so threatening about that linda?

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

NO Cheryl YOU said That On of two thing had to happen. Either I pyblicly yell at Lets on the forum or he goes. Sound like an ultimatum to me

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

You have a problem with your short term memory, bet I know why. Thats why I taped it.
I compromised several times and the compromises were not accepted.
EXACTLY what I said happened, happened.
ASK STATIC OR I WILL BE haPPY TO SHARE THE TAPE
and you did not answer why you deltetd my good bye message. There was nothing wrong with it

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Cheryl Take a deep breath. Sleep on this.. You are STILL TRYING to air dirty linen on the board

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

I tried talking to you and top and static for an hour and 45 minutes.
Nothing I said was good enough.
You all chose lets
END OF STORY

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Cheryl I am still willing to work things out with you. You do not have to leave. Please stop reacting with pure emotion and take a deep breath. Sleep on this. We love you. You HATE to be told you are wrong.. Something else is happening with you then just this.I am worried about you. You need SOSEN as well as we need you. Cheryl you and I have always worked well together.
Linda

klpsupermom
SOSEN Staff
Member

I am sorry it had to end like this….Cheryl please reconsider and work on this…. sad1 sad5

billm
SOSEN Staff
Member

Just curious, Received a pm that members looking at who’s online shows Cheryl as hidden. Have never seen that before

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

All you have to do is to go into your profile and click the button that you do not wish to show your online status.
For some reason that lists you as hidden.
Who in the world would pm you about that and how would they KNOW it was me?

topwop
SOSEN Staff
Member

topwop@gallatinriver.net

Cheryl,
I am sorry you are gone you will be missed. You have done a great amount of work here and accomplished much.

You never mentioned that you were recording the meeting, and permission was never granted. That is too bad. That also is very unprofessional.

You should play that tape for the people that are interested, it is very revealing. You also need SOSENS permission to do so. You have mine.

Your picture of a battered woman with her mouth taped shut is in appallingly bad taste and needs to be removed immediately. That is also very unprofessional.

Your willingness to reveal and twist what was talked about in a SOSEN Board Meeting also is very unprofessional.

I am tired of your threats to quit if we do not give you your way.
I personally accept your resignation and wish you well. If you ever wish to come back we will deal with you openly and honestly and you will be welcomed.
Best of luck and best wishes.
topwop

equal justice
SOSEN Staff
Member

Yep, I taped it because I knew Linda would not admit what took place there. I have no intention of sharing it with anyone as long as no one lies about what was said. How the heck am I twisting anything when I have the tape of the blasted conversation.
I went directly from the meeting to post this thread and it was PAINFULLY fresh in my mind.
I have not threatened anything, I stated a fact. I compromised over and over and over again and it was never enough.
You all had SEVERAL choices. You asked me what I needed, I told you, I compromised on that time and time again.
In the end, after an hour and 45 minutes when you stated that the posted policies, that Lets has read and commented on multiple times needed to be posted in National and lets given another chance to repent. When YOU KNOW that there is NO way to tell what he is doing in a pm and has stated he will not stop till I am gone.
SO I had a choice either deal with Let’s abuse and total non support of the CEO who said I was mean and nasty in my posts on the forum and she CRINGES when she reads them…I am just mean and nasty and hold grudges…
What other REAL options did I have but to quit? NONE It was not a threat, it was a promise.

*I* am the CEO and she’s *MY* Sarah Tofte

letsgetreal50

Linda,

What’s up with Sarah?

letsgetreal50

For a person who is suppose to be all excited about this symposium and “IS IN,” sure doesn’t seem like she is interested at all. She is disappointing me big time.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

I do not know what is going on with Sarah. She has not called me back I was out one week and she was out the other. She speaks all over the country. All I can do is keep trying. Why don’t we just go ahead and write the letters for other speakers just saying that Sarah was invited to speak also

letsgetreal50

Well, Ive made a decision. If I don’t hear from Sarah this week than I’m cancelling the symposium.

I cannot tell you how let down I feel. Very few people even visit the Ok symposium web site because no one gives a good rats ass.

I’ve had more people than I can count ask me if they could help and after I reply, I never hear from them again.

Example: Stick said he would do the bumper sticker. Great, I liked the one he did and asked him for pricing and never heard from him again. I have PM’d him at least 4 times AND HE DOES VISIT THE FORUM FREQUENTLY. THERE IS NO REASON OR EXCUSE TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS.

I’ve had people ask me if they could help on the CFCoklahoma site. I say yes, and never hear from them.

If people arn’t serious when they open their mouth, then they need to keep it shut!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sick and tired of the sex offender community. Lazy people who dug the hole their in and refuse to help themselves out. They seem to expect everyone to do their part for them.

Most in staff know that when I say I’ll do something, it’s money in the bank. I expect no less from anyone else. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I put in a lot of hours, drove to OK City, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fuck it! Just FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lets

static
SOSEN Staff
Member

I’m at my Gf’s house on the other side of the state right now, and don’t have access to my hard drive, but I’ll get the Ok legal info to you as soon as I can. I have also put out the word about the symposium to many people in my network and they trust my word. Can I guarantee that all or any of them will show up? no. But I gave them my word and if I’m going to be their source of info, they have to be able to trust what I tell them. As for Sarah, who made the decision that the symposium depended upon her participation? There can be other speakers. I was under the impression that we were contacting many people to speak. Why be rude to them and cancel on them just because Sarah hasn’t answered in a time-frame that is acceptable to you? And who in the world told you she would be available to you whenever you beckoned? I’m not trying to be rude here, Lets, but if you make me look like a poor source of info to my network, just because Sarah isn’t at your service, you are doing me, my network, and in the end Oklahoma, a disservice. We don’t have a boat-load of SO’s in Ok. We certainly don’t have many members from here. Thwarting the network I’m trying to build will let me down a bit more than Sarah has let you down. If you want to cancel the Symposium, that’s cool- but do it now, so I can tell all the people that I’ve contacted (trying to make it a success) and tell them in a timely fashion. I’m not trying to pressure you into holding the symposium if you feel that it is not going to work. In fact I have some reservations about it’s success myself, and we can always try some other time- it’s no big deal right now to cancel, and no one can say you haven’t put your all into this. But maybe it would be more successful at a later date- you may be right. What I’m trying to make clear to you is that if we cancel, we need to do it now, to avoid getting in over our heads and embarassing SOSEN and ourselves- either by cancelling at the last minute or holding an amateurish symposium. So Lets- if you want to cancel, we can do that with minimal damage if we do it now.

I just re-read what I’ve written in this post and it reads like I’m griping at you. I hope you don’t take it that way, because I didn’t mean it that way at all. If you cancel, I’ll support your decision. If you don’t cancel, then we need to not base all our hopes on Sarah. If she can do it, she’ll let us know, but we can have other good speakers ready just in case.

bronkv
SOSEN Staff
Member

I’m sorry to hear how you’re feeling Lets, I’d like to help out with the OK Symposium, but with looking after my mother and children, I doubt that I’d be able to attend. I’m sure I could help out with other parts of the Symposium though (brochures, website etc), I just don’t know where to start (maybe we could kick around some ideas in the Education Committee?)

I agree with Static, I don’t think the Symposium depends upon Sarah’s appearance. I think it would be great if we could just get our voices carrying the truth out there, and just make our voices heard. It would also be good if we could get video of it and put it up on the main page.

letsgetreal50

Well, Just when I get to the end of my tether, Sarah Tofte sends me an e-mail apologizing for the delay and promises she will get back to me this week.

Now, we only have 8 weeks to prepare and I have made it clear to the committee that I am as green as a spring apple. I need writers movers and shakers. I’m going back to committee and see if I can move and shake them into action. I do not see that we have enough time,

Stick promised to make bumper stickers for a fund drive. He doesn’t respond to my e-mails, and other members blah, blah,blah. We are running out of time.

equal justice
COO, Media Director
SOSEN Staff
Member

hey Lets, I am glad you got a response from Sarah. I am kinda confused tho, wasnt Linda the contact person for Sarah?
Just wondering.

letsgetreal50

Let’s just be thankful that Sarah responded and will get back to us this week. We have work to do and that is what it is all about. As Static says, his “credibility is at stake.” So is mine, and so it is with others. We have a great opportunity to have a great impact here so we need to focus on that.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

I am confused also Rod. I have been cultivating my relationship with Sarah for 3 years. I asked you when I was in the hospital not to contact her, that I would take care of it. I get MANY MANY reporters sent our way because of her. If you want me to do something, I do it. I do not appreciate you writing to Sarah when I asked you not to.

letsgetreal50

Sorry, but my writing Sarah does not interfere with Sarah referring to you or you to her in anyway shape or form. I’m not going to get into any kind of argument or politics. Sarah’s e-mail address is public, and anyone can e-mail her for any reason. She is not owned by anyone and neither am I.

I spent a good two weeks collecting monies and coordinating for you and your husbands move out of VA and into Ohio. Lets just be glad Sarah finally responded, because I was ready to quit this entire effort. I’m very sick and tired of all these RSO’s who do nothing but want everyone to do for them. That makes up 90 percent of our membership. Sorry, thats just where I am right now. It’s one of those things.

I’m a doer and go getter. I don’t have time for those who want to sit on the sidelines.

I wished you knew who and how many volunteered to help with my site AND the symposium, only to never hear from them again. Incredible. It makes one want to throw up their hands and say. Well, I already expressed that

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Rod
I do not like my toes being stepped on. You asked me to do something. I did it. The last time I checked I was the CEO. The CEO asked you not to interfere with her contact. You can take care of the whole damn symposium I QUIT

letsgetreal50

Now that’s one hell-of-a-way to treat someone who went ALL out for hours and days on end, to help you and your husband. You have no idea of the phone calls I made across this country to get you out of that evicted slave shack situation. I guess that’s gratitude for you. Ego is a bitch

I think this is more of a ego problem and is reminiscent of the Shirley days. If you want to take your ball and go home, that’s up to you. Pretty immature from where I sit.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Call it what you want. I am nothing like Shirley and you know it. I specificly asked you NOT to write to Sarah, to let me handle it. I worked for YEARS helping her and gaining her trust. You overstepped your bounds. PERIOD I am the CEO here not you. The CEO asked you to honor that request for a reason You KNEW when you wrote Sarah that I would not be happy with it but you did it anyway.

letsgetreal50

Your problem isn’t with me!!! Why Sarah chose to respond to me and not with you lies with Sarah. You have been calling and e-mailing and like you said, You couldn’t understand why she wasn’t responding. You said, she always responds immediately to you. Ask Sarah.

The good news is like I said, she responded and will get back in touch this week.

Letsgitoverit

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Rod
I worked with Sarah for 2 years on the HRW report before anyone even knew who Sarah was.I know how busy she is. I am very protective of her just like she is of me. The point is you asked me to contact her and take care of it. I was. I asked you to let me handle it. You totally ignored my request. That is what I am upset about.

letsgetreal50

Well, I didn’t totally gnor you. You had a couple of months to get a reply and that never happened. I did what i thought I had to do because of the late date. I explained to Sarah that the committee was at a standstill until we heard from her. And it was. Time is running out and there is much money to raise and committee will have to get the lead out of their ass and get busy.

Sorry to have disappointed you. Glad Sarah responded. Yes, you are the CEO and I have ALWAYS respected that. I am the committee chairperson and need all the help I can get. When I see someone failing, I’m the one who gets in there and does things to make it happen.

You may feel disrespected and I understand that. However, absolutely no harm done to your relationship with Sarah Tofte, there is no reason why you cannot continue to do what you have been doing.

lindape54
SOSEN/CEO
SOSEN Staff
Member

Rod
I love and respect you. I am sorry. Let us just put this behind us now. We have work to do.
HUGS
Linda

letsgetreal50

Amen, I do love and respect you too.

hugs, Rod